5 Things To Let Go Of

When I first started to travel, the constant advice for me was to pack light.

And as I went around carrying my backpack, I realize that it was easier for me to travel with a lot less riding on my shoulders.

And after some time, I realized that didn’t only apply to clothes, things, and souvenirs.

I had to learn to let go of what was weighing down my body, heart, mind, and spirit, as well.

You can’t carry it all, you can’t bring everything with you.

What were some of the things I had to learn to let go to be lighter, freer, and happier?

Insecurity, and Self-Doubt

There were a lot of times when I found it hard to do the things I wanted, and to move forward in the direction that I wanted, whenever I believed, and thought, that I couldn’t do it.

That I wasn’t good enough.  Or that I wasn’t experienced enough, or didn’t know enough people, or the right people.

That I felt and believed that I didn’t deserve it.

What I had to do, was to gain and grow an appreciation of myself.  What I had, what I was capable of, and who I was, as well as my power and potential to grow and to become whatever it was that I wanted to be.

There were times when I had to power through my insecurities and self-doubt, and just move forward and act in the face of what was holding me back – my insecurities and doubts.

Action is the fastest way for the insecurities and the doubts to melt away.

Just do it.

 

False Expectations

When I was younger, and even sometimes now, I still find myself expecting things and outcomes in situations, and form people, that may not come true.  That would have a hard time coming true.

Why is that?

Because I never told them what I expected from them.

Or I told them one thing, but expected them to do something else.

It sounds ludicrous, but we all have done some form of this, whether we are aware of them or not.

There’s a struggle inside of us on what we want to say and communicate, and how we want people to perceive us.  So we say one thing, in the hopes of being seen a certain way, but actually expect another.

That’s hard.  that causes a lot of confusion for other people, who will be unable to fulfill your expectations because they don’t know them.

It’s hard for you as well, since you’ll only be frustrated and will always wonder why you don’t get what you want.

People aren’t mind readers.

But they can be great listeners.

If you are, send me an email.  I’d love to meet one.

 

What’s not in your control

This was the hardest for me to let go of.  As a planner, I try to influence and plan for as many things as possible.  But that only got me so far.

What I found was that I can only influence the results I get up to a certain point.  And after that, you’ve got to trust in whatever happens, and allow yourself to be surprised.

I spent a lot of time worrying about what other people would think.  How they would perceive me, what they would think of me, how they would see me.  I became so guarded on what I would say, so conscious of what I would do, and how I would present myself.

And because of that, I shied away from other people.  I didn’t make connections, and even turned down opportunities, all because I was too worried about things that I couldn’t control.

Gradually, I started to lose control of the things that I actually could control – myself.  My actions, thoughts, beliefs, and reactions.

Let go of worrying about things that you can’t control, by focusing instead on what you can actually control.

 

Regret, mistakes, and the past

When I closed down my two businesses, and lost a lot of money, resources, opportunities, and ego, I felt deep regret, and beat myself up for failing.

For the next two years after that, I tried and tried to start new business and take advantage of new opportunities that would come my way, but I’d always hold back and be hesitant to take full advantage of them.

I couldn’t forgive myself for failing.  Instead of seeing that as a mistake that I could learn from and move on, I saw that as a judgement on my abilities and potential.

I had to learn to let go of all of that.  To forgive myself as well for failing, and to continue to move forward and pick myself up.

We all make mistakes, and it’s up to us how we take it, and whether we let it stop us, or fuel us towards our dreams and success.

Don’t let yourself be defined by your past.  You are what you make of you.

 

Hurt and grief

I used to carry a lot of grudges and ill feelings towards other people – people who I felt had it in for me, and people who I felt enjoyed seeing me suffer.

I used to always carry along the negativity and the hurt from failing my two businesses, from not succeeding and losing so much.  That energy invaded every part of my life, and threatened to destroy whatever was left of me.

I’m not saying that I shouldn’t, or that we, shouldn’t feel feelings of hurt and grief.  It’s normal.  There’s sadness and mourning for what we have lost.

But don’t stay in it, keep moving forward, and make peace.

 

Travel light, live free

Life gets easier if you’re not carrying too much stuff, especially those which only serve to hinder you from having freedom, having healthy relationships, and having more possibilities and opportunities.

Learn to let go.

 

What else have you learned to let go of?  Please share in the comments below!