We’re afraid to do whatever it takes, because we’re unsure.
We’re uncertain about the result. Is this really going to work? That’s what’s going on in our guts and in our hearts.
Uncertainty.
Think about it. If you were 100% sure you would succeed, why wouldn’t you do it?
What makes us afraid to just do whatever it takes?
Pain and Fear
We’re afraid to do whatever it takes, because we have experienced pain and fear.
I remember starting out my first business venture. I was wide-eyed and optimistic, and I believed that I would succeed.
Many months and decisions later, I had to close down my business, and learn the lessons the hard way, in a way that they would affect me deeply.
It still hurts.
There’s still pain and fear inside of me, and that somehow stops me from going all-out again.
Because I’m uncertain about my success, I don’t give my all, I’m afraid of falling into the pit of despair that I tasted when I closed down my business, or two businesses, rather.
The pain and fear we feel we might experience in the future, is what’s holding us back.
There’s also no certainty that we will fail, if we give it our all, yet it’s the fear and uncertainty, that will surely make us fail.
By holding us back, and making us give less than a 100%.
When the only way to live life, and go after your dreams, is with 100%.
That’s not me.
Tony Robbins once said in a video I watched: “That people absolutely follow through on who they believe they are.”
Our identity, and our concept of ourselves, is powerful. It determines what we believe we can do, can’t do, and what we can develop and grow.
How we define ourselves, is how we live our lives.
And there’s a difference between beliefs based on principles and values, and those based on past experiences.
Are you choosing to be the kind of person you believe you are? Or has your past defined who you are, for you?
Are your beliefs about yourself, limiting you, and holding you back?
I had a really strong belief about my ability to connect with other people, and to meet new people. For the longest time, I clung tightly to my introvert identity, and told myself that I’m not the kind of person that’s able to just meet people, and call people up.
Or, I kept saying that I wouldn’t be healthy, and that I never would be. I’d never be fit like everybody else.
I just kept saying “that’s not me”, not realizing that I was just being held back by my painful experiences of the past, of the fear of meeting new people, and possibly being rejected.
“That’s just the way I am”, “That’s not who I am”, “I couldn’t possibly do that”.
All excuses, and not taking responsibility for your choices, instead, pointing the blame at your current makeup of beliefs and attitudes.
But, even beliefs and attitudes can be changed, can be adjusted.
Again, how we define ourselves, is how we live our lives.
Limiting beliefs and mindsets
And because of our experiences, we learn behaviors, beliefs, and mindsets that don’t serve us.
When I was young, my mom kept on telling me not to talk to strangers.
I do realize her good intentions for saying that, but growing up, that only served to handicap me, and instill in my head that it’s not good to talk to strangers. They might do something bad to you, or that you’re just bothering them.
And no one wanted to be bothered. I didn’t want to be bothered.
And now, I find myself in a situation, where I want to help other people, and I feel that what I have to offer is worth bothering people for 2 minutes, maybe more, of their time, and I find myself handicapped.
Because, what if they find me annoying? Or they reject me in the most humiliating way possible?
All in my head. It’s all in my head.
I also found it scary to develop the self-awareness to face my limiting beliefs, at the start. It was like attacking all of the things I believed I was, and going at the foundation of how I’ve survived for so many years.
But, what got me here, won’t get me there.
Build towards the person you want to become, instead of staying the way you are right now.
It’s possible to still stay true to the core of who you are, and yet, become a better and better person in every which way that’s important for you.
To have the freedom to be who you are.
What’s important for you? To always be right, or be rich, in every aspect of your life?
Let go of limits, pride, fear, and the pressure.
Let go, and keep on letting go.
Whatever it takes to succeed.
Whatever it takes to find love.
Whatever it takes to break through.
Whatever it takes to be whole.
We’re really not doing enough.
Not enough effort.
Not enough honesty.
Not enough dreaming.
Not enough resting and recharging.
I look back on my life, and I’ve never regret the times when I laid out everything I had on the line, and did whatever it took to succeed.
But I regret one hundred percent all the times I didn’t give it my all.
Whatever it takes, whatever it takes.
Do it.
What’s something you’re afraid to do whatever it takes? Please share in the comments below!
stellarjedi says
You are absolutely right that fear whether imagined or based on past experiences is what holds me back from giving it my all. Thanks for liberating me from that fear. I believe that I can give it my all from now on.
Fredric Lipio says
Thanks ST! Most of the time, it’s imagined fear, and what we think in our heads, that’s stopping us from giving it our all.