I found myself complaining to my fiancee a few nights ago. About the country, its government, and the sad state of affairs we found ourselves in. I really let go and complained hard. Quite a talk we had.
The next day, I woke up with a slight fever, a bad stomach, and aching muscles. I did nothing out of the ordinary the day before, and it got me thinking:
Was it the complaining that did it?
Complaining creates negative energy.
The act of complaining creates stress, which can lead to all sorts of negative effects on our body, mind, heart, and spirit.
Studies have shown that the accumulation of this stress, this negative energies, may lead to weakened and even destroyed neuron connections in the brain, causing weakened reasoning and memory functions.
Long-term exposure, or repeated exposure, to stress can also lead to negative effects on mood, self-esteem, and general mental health.
The act of complaining focuses on what’s wrong, not on what’s right. This can get our heads and hearts used to the feeling that there is so much more wrong going on in the world, and that things may be bound to turn south at any moment.
Or that there is no hope, and there will always be something to complain about.
Our language is not only snippet of what’s inside of us, but the language we use further cements and creates bonds about the beliefs we say out loud.
Meaning the more negativity that comes out of our mouths, the more it is validated, strengthened, and cemented inside of our hearts and minds.
Complaining doesn’t focus on solutions.
People say that complaining is harmless. It’s just venting out emotions, just constantly throwing out bottled up opinions, and even frustrations.
That’s dangerous. Emotions, whether positive or negative, have a way of growing stronger the more they are used, expressed, and validated.
When you complain, you’re focusing on the outcome that you should be seeing, and you’re expressing your frustration, negativity over not seeing, getting that result. There is no real action, solution, towards that result.
You may only be talking about it, but you’re not doing anything about it.
I had jobs before where I just kept on complaining, venting out my frustrations and emotions. That only served to dig me deeper into sadness and more frustration. I felt more and more rejected and angry. I felt my mind and health rotting away, and my heart growing harder and harder.
Complaining doesn’t focus on action – it promotes helplessness, powerlessness. It focuses on what youd on’t have, instead of what you do have.
Complaining gives away your power to create change for yourself. You, yourself, give it up. To whatever it is you’re complaining about. You’re letting that object of your complaint dictate how you should feel and think.
It teaches you to focus on what’s wrong, instead of what’s right. Or how it can be made right, and your role in that process.
Do something about it!
Yes, there is such a thing as complaining effectively – when you complain to somebody who has the power to take an action that will solve a situation. Like customer service, for example.
Take action, make changes, get results.
Instead of complaining, do something about it instead.
Focus on what you can do, on what’s right, on your ability to make changes. Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses. Focus on what you have, rather than what you don’t.
You always have a choice in any situation. Even the choice to manage your behavior, emotions, and not get caught up in the wave upon wave of negativity when others complain, is a very powerful choice.
Change begins with us.
Complaining doesn’t solve anything.
Action does.
What was it like complaining, but not doing anything? Please share in the comments below!
Acknowledgements:
[…] We focus on the problem’s role in stopping us from getting what we want. […]