I’m grateful to have witnessed these life lessons from the student leaders who participated in my last workshop.
There is wisdom, at any age.
Everyone has lessons to share, lessons that remind us of what we once held dear, but have now forgotten.
Their school patron is St. Jude Thaddeus, the patron saint of hope and impossible causes.
And just like their patron saint, these student leaders have shown me again, that nothing’s impossible.
What did they share with me?
Get to know people.
Find out more about people, and not just on a superficial level. Seek to understand them, what pushes them, what makes them happy, or sad.
What are they afraid of, what support do they need?
What dreams do they hold closest to their hearts?
We did an activity, where I asked the leaders to identify their strengths and weaknesses, and to share with their team members in the room.
They were surprised, and great questions were asked all around. They also encouraged and validated each other, and asked more about the strengths and weaknesses that they didn’t see as often.
Some even asked each other: “Is that you? How is that?”
And that’s such a magical moment.
Of understanding, and openness.
Of acceptance.
In getting to know other people, we overcome the prejudices and beliefs we may have had about the person, and begin to become open to the person that they truly are.
In getting to know other people, we find out how we can better relate to them, understand them, speak to them, work with them, support them, and trust them.
In getting to know other people, we find out how we’re connected to each other, and how we can continue to build stronger connections with them, and with others.
In getting to know other people, we find out how similar we are, and appreciate how different we are from each other. And that’s a good thing.
In getting to know other people, we also get to know more about ourselves in the process.
There’s a tendency to focus on weaknesses.
The student leaders found it easy to list down their weaknesses, and were actually looking for more paper to write down more weaknesses.
And they found it hard to list down, with confidence and certainty, the strengths that they have.
It’s not only for these student leaders, but for a lot of people I encounter.
Our world has taught us to focus on our weaknesses, and because of that, it’s those weaknesses that always gets pointed out.
We’re always reminded of the shortcomings that we have, our “points for improvement,”
We’re critical of others, and ourselves, when we fall short, when we fail, when we don’t do a good job.
And what about when we do a good job? When we succeed, even in little ways? That doesn’t get recognized, or appreciated.
It’s just expected of us. That’s sad.
We never make an effort to appreciate and recognize others for the little things that they do.
But it’s the little things that count.
There’s so much pressure and expectation.
The student leaders shared with me that they feel there’s so much pressure and expectation.
There’s so much pressure and expectation internally, because they want to be successful, and they want to do a good job. They hold themselves to a high standard, and go for excellence.
There’s also so much pressure and expectation externally, because their world expects so much from them.
They’re student leaders, so they’re expected to behave a certain way, believe certain things, and become a certain person.
So said the school, teachers, parents, friends, society, and the world.
And the same goes for all of us.
We’re pushed to meet all these expectations that other people have of us, that we haven’t given ourselves a chance.
A chance to forgive ourselves for the mistakes that we’ve made.
A chance to learn from our mistakes, as we’re making them.
A chance to be comfortable with who we are, and how we’re growing.
Let’s give ourselves that chance.
The pressures and expectations don’t get weaker from here on out. They even get stronger, and more intense.
Good thing you’re getting stronger and stronger. And you continue to build yourself up.
Rise to the challenge, but there’s still uncertainty that you’re feeling deep down, inside.
I feel you.
We’re not as bad as we think we are.
As the leaders saw the strengths of the group as a whole, it was a reminder that they’re not a big bag of weaknesses, far from it.
They’re a shining beacon of strengths. Of their talents and capabilities.
It’s the expectations and pressures that have been whispering to them:
“You’re not good enough.”
“You need to become this kind of person.”
“You’re just a kid.”
“You need to do things differently.”
“That’s wrong, you need to do as you’re told.”
And the many more whisperings telling them, telling us, that we’re not good enough.
That’s what the outside world is telling us.
What are you telling yourself?
We’ve given in, and have begun telling to ourself what other people are telling us. It’s all we hear, anyway.
Don’t give in. Tell yourself otherwise.
Take what you can use from what they tell you, and encourage yourself, and be kind to yourself.
Because if you’re not kind to yourself, no one else will.
Same goes for respect, understanding, and acceptance.
Weaknesses need to be accepted to be overcome.
Strengths need to be accepted to be developed.
We’re capable of more than we know.
From the moment we were born, we were already being told what we could, and could not do.
Later on in life, this become the self-talk of whether we believe we can do something or not.
It’s so easy to give in to the fear, to the negative.
It’s easy to be gutless.
It’s harder to put ourselves out there, and try.
It’s harder to face the fear, rejection, judgement, and still come out OK, whether you succeeded or not.
What’s important is what we tell ourselves what we are capable of.
What’s important is that we tell ourselves we are capable of anything we want.
Listen for life lessons.
There is wisdom at any age, and life lessons anywhere, if you listen for them.
If you’re open to them.
They’re younger than me, than a lot of us, but a lot of what they shared still applies.
Even for those of us who are older.
Life is about facing the realities that the world has put ahead of us.
All the while, growing and becoming into the person we want to become.
No matter what anyone else is saying.
What’s a life lesson you discovered recently? Share in the comments below!
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