I have a lot of plans and dreams, and in the course of my life, a lot of them stayed plans and dreams.
“Why don’t I get, what I want?”
I had a lot of excuses. I kept telling myself reasons why I wasn’t getting what I want.
About why I wasn’t rich, successful, kinder, or even just a little less shy.
Remembering what I kept saying to myself, sounds stupid.
There’s only 5 reasons why we don’t get what we want.
You don’t believe you’re worthy.
Looking back, I realize that I’ve had a number of opportunities fall on my lap. Opportunities offered to me, or that I could’ve claimed.
If I had went for it.
I had an offer to take an MBA, on scholarship, in one of the best business schools in Asia.
I was a freelance consultant then, had the time, resources, and aptitude. What a slam dunk offer!
Except, I didn’t take the shot.
I kept telling myself that I didn’t need it. That I had a pride to protect. That getting an MBA was a waste of time.
Feeling that I knew it all, and that I had nothing to gain from the experience, I rejected the offer, and in hindsight, was worse off for it.
On a deeper level, I said no, because I felt that I wasn’t worthy to receive it.
That there would be someone else who would receive a greater benefit than me. That someone else needed it more, and that I was being benevolent and generous in passing up the opportunity.
Of course, just typing that all back now, gave me the feeling of utter bullshit.
When you don’t believe you’re worthy, deserving, and capable, you never will be.
Looking back, that’s the number one reason why we don’t get things and opportunities we want, or that we never see them as opportunities for the taking.
It’s because we don’t see ourselves as worthy of receiving them.
You’re not willing to pay the price.
Feeling you’re worthy to receive and obtain opportunities is the first step, but if you don’t make ways to go and get them, and get them working for you, then you’ll never get what you want.
To obtain anything, you have to be willing to pay the price. Whether it be monetary, physical, spiritual, emotional, and relational terms.
It’s like my journey to get to doing 15 pushups. I didn’t just magically buy, or have the ability to do it. I put in the time, effort, and investment in myself to be able to get the ability to do 15 pushups.
Or as a saying goes: People want to go to heaven, but they don’t want to die.
There is a price to be paid in exchange for anything. Even free offers have your time and opportunity cost as a price to them. You could be doing something else with your time.
If you’re not willing to pay the price, then you won’t get anything in return.
I’ve always wanted to start another business, but I’ve been hesitant to pour money into a new venture, and time into finding new customers, and promoting myself.
I just hoped, magically, that people would know, and that a business would fall on my lap.
And that’s not going to happen.
If I don’t pay a price to be able to do that, in time, energy, investment, effort, and discipline, then I will have no results.
Be willing to pay a price.
Then, it becomes a matter of how much do you want it.
There’s information you don’t know.
If you haven’t gotten the results that you wanted, then there’s probably something that you don’t yet know.
All the information is out there. It’s up to you to creatively find ways to find out and know the information that you need to start a new business, promote yourself, climb up the corporate ladder, lead your team, and have the quality of life that you want.
Information also means beliefs and attitudes you may have about attaining what it is that you want.
You may have the information, but if you don’t know, and I mean know, deep in your heart and soul, that you need to act upon it, to set aside time, and commit to making it work, then you’ll never get anywhere.
You also have to know how to apply the information, and not just know it in your head.
Action, and how to take it, is information that you need to know as well.
Action, bridges the gap between our thoughts, and our reality.
And the information that we have, informs the actions that we take.
You’re not focused on its achievement.
If you try to do too many things at once, you spread your energy, yourself, too thin, and you don’t achieve anything with excellence.
In one of the seminars I’ve attended, research shows that when people have lesser goals to focus on, they achieve more of them with excellence. One to two goals, best, as compared to having 5 or more.
And one reason why you’re not getting the results you want, is because you’re not putting any focused effort into it.
I’ve always wanted to do a pull-up, but until I actually made pull-up preparation exercises a part of my regular workout, I wasn’t getting anywhere near to doing a pull-up.
That meant not doing other exercises which I wanted to do as well, to focus on being able to do my first pull-up.
Which came out of nowhere, on a beach while on vacation.
Because ideally, we should only focus on the things that matter most to us.
Cut out the distractions, and focus.
You don’t know what you want.
Getting what you want is also a matter of definition, of imagination, and of realization.
If you don’t know what you want, then where do you focus your energies?
Where do you commit to spending your time?
How would you know if you’ve achieved what you’ve set out to do, and if you’re getting any closer?
More people in the world focus on the negative. They focus on what they don’t want, and what’s not going right in their lives, as opposed to focusing on what they do have, and what it is exactly that they want in their lives.
Get clear on what you want, and watch the possibilities open up for you.
Get clear on what you want, and it becomes easier for you to motivate yourself, as you track your progress.
When I started exercising, I did so with no clear goal. That got me mediocre results, and as time went on, I found it harder to motivate myself.
Now, with a clear goal in mind, I rarely miss a workout, and keep track of my progress, which keeps me honest and focused, as well as motivated to show up, and give it my best effort.
Be clear on what you want. Be extremely specific.
You’ll begin to see that it’s not so far off, after all.
Get what you want.
Get clear on what it is that you want.
Focus your energy and time to its achievement.
Find out what you need to know.
Put in the investment and effort.
And believe that it’s for you, and that you’re worthy of such achievements.
Life is too short.
Get at getting what you want.
What else stops you from getting what you want? Please share in the comments below!
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