7 Ways We Sabotage Ourselves

I felt that my life was set.

I was going to open a business, have it make money, grow it to a point, hand it off, and then coast all the way until the day I die.  Taking a long vacation or two along the way.

I’m nowhere near what I set out to do all those years ago.  “What happened?”

It took me some time to figure out.  A lot of time, actually.

I didn’t learn all the lessons required to achieve what success meant for me.  I thought I was OK and that I could just “wing it” along the way.

Well, the better prepared you are, the better you can “wing it”  A fact lost upon my old self.

I blamed everything else except me for my failure.  I had to face the cold, hard truth, that I had to deal and rise above failing.  More than that, I had been responsible for my failings.

At times, unknowingly.

1. The Scarcity Mindset

Yes, I had put up a business, but I had put one up out of the feeling of necessity.  I felt there was no other way to make money.

I was stuck in the thinking that money was hard to earn, that business was the only way to survive, and even then earning money was still hard for me.

I was so stingy of my money, resources, and time, during that period of my life.  I felt that if I had to give away even a small portion of what I got, I would ultimately have less.  I hoarded, and hid whatever I could get my grubby hands on.

And in the end, I ended up with nothing.

Believing that there’s not enough to go around, ultimately changes your behavior to match that mindset, and you cut down and cut down, until there is nothing left.

So even thought I needed to get sales, I still was afraid of spending, afraid that it will never come back.

Be careful what you believe in.  They do come true.

2. Believing it’s not possible

And although I was still trying to revive my businesses, I felt I was just spinning my wheels.

The truth was I had long given up on them, and was hoping for a miracle.

I wouldn’t be able to say it then, but deep down inside, that was what I believed in.

And again, be careful what you believe in, for they do come true.

Looking back, there were still things I could have done to save my businesses.  But inside, I felt defeated and lost.  I believed in my impending defeat, and how that would reflect poorly on me.

So I gave up.

To my partners, friends, and supporters, I’m so sorry.  It took me a long time, and courage and humility, to admit that to myself, and to you guys.

3. Not acting amidst uncertainty

Because we can never predict what will happen tomorrow, and we can only act in the now.  Living life is about getting out there, living, doing stuff and taking steps even when you’re not 100% sure.

But we get stuck trying to find out what it is we were meant to do in life.

We get stuck in planning, dreaming, hoping, and wishing.  We plan out what we want to do, but never get around to making any meaningful action towards making them happen.

Victor Frankl, famous survivor of the Holocaust, said: “We detect, rather than invent, our missions in life.”

And it’s hard to detect anything when you’re cooped up in yourself.  Interact with the world, get feedback, and enjoy the process of discovery.

You may be pleasantly surprised.

4. Not investing in yourself

Because I believed I was set for life, I thought I had the skills to go the distance.

What a fool I was.  I feel bad just typing the sentence above this one.

I didn’t go out of my way then to learn new skills, to better equip myself for what I had set out to do.

And part of investing in yourself is setting aside the time and resources to do so.

I always felt that I didn’t have the money or the time to improve my skills, learn critical information, get help to take action, or to even take a break.

Obviously I had the time, and the money.  What I didn’t have was the confidence and belief that investing in myself would reap dividends far beyond the amount I use.

Warren Buffet, investor extraordinaire, said that your most important asset is yourself, and that you’ve got to invest as much as you can in your self-development.

I’ve only just begun to invest in myself meaningfully.  I haven’t gotten far, but the rewards have been exciting at this early stage.  It excites me what will happen in the future.

5. Expecting perfection from the get-go

Expecting to get it right the first time is expecting to set yourself up for massive disappointment.  Before you can get good at anything, you’ve got to be willing to be bad at it.

I learned to play the guitar, and it wasn’t as straightforward as i thought it would be.  I was horrible at the start.  Only through constant and purposeful practice did I get anywhere near to being good.

Even masters were at some point in their lives, beginners.  The talent may be there, but without the hard work and effort, there would be no masterpiece.

6. Rejecting change

Because change really is the only way to grow.  You can’t stay the same and expect better and better results.  You’ve got to grow, and change has to happen.

My effort to stay the same and keep who I was then, was disaster.

I didn’t want to build a network, or build my skills.  I didn’t want to shift my mindset, my beliefs, my attitude towards work.  I didn’t want to choose to be uncomfortable to try new things, and go for success.  I didn’t choose myself to succeed.

For success, for growth, for results, to live, change has to happen.  Small changes at first, then big changes.

7. Lie to yourself

Because it feels good, feels comfortable.  It’s safer to just avoid the reality and pain of the real world.  It also won’t get us anywhere, fast.

The faster we get real and realize the ways we’re sabotaging ourselves, the faster we can change for success.

It takes courage.

It takes humility.

It may take time.

But it’s worth it.  Totally.

Don’t sabotage yourself.

Have you had a realization how you were sabotaging yourself? How did you overcome that? Please share in the comments below!