3 days ago, was exactly 10 years since I graduated from college, and it hasn’t been exactly the ride I foresaw as I wore the toga and marched towards my diploma.
Not at all.
And if the posts on Facebook of my colleagues and batchmates are any indication, it seems like life hasn’t been exactly cut and dried, and always according to plan.
But life still goes on. No repeats, resets, no do-overs.
Just keep on going. Hopefully, each day after another, a little bit more stronger, wiser, wealthier, and happier.
What are 8 lessons I’ve learned, 10 years since graduation?
Work more on yourself, not on your job
Because you can always switch jobs, and find work you can contribute in. But to do that, you have to be willing to work on yourself.
On the flipside, you can lose a job in an instant, but it takes effort and time to lose yourself.
The more you work on yourself, the better you become, and the more options and opportunities open up for you.
The work doesn’t stop, never runs out, and doesn’t get any easier.
We just find ways to get better.
Because more than the skills and capabilities that you have and can develop, the person you are, and can become; your character, principles, values, and beliefs, should also be developed.
For a start, begin to know yourself more, what you value, what you stand for, and what you’re afraid of. Get to know yourself more.
Invest time, energy, and resources in yourself, and in becoming a better person. The type of person who is able to achieve all the goals and dreams that you have set out.
You are your greatest asset.
Invest in yourself.
Learn how to master your finances
This is one area that’s not taught in school, but is important given how it’s a resource that we can either use to better our lives, or be chained and enslaved by it.
They don’t teach you in school how to budget, prioritize what to spend on, how to build income streams, how to make money, build assets that will make money for you, insurance, investments, ad all the myriad options and advices out there.
See, life is not all about money, but people who haven’t learned to control and master their finances, and have a good grasp on it, think that life is all about money – how to earn it, keep it, grow it, and spend it.
You can’t manage what you can’t measure, and you can’t control what you can’t check.
Right now, all the educational system is focused on, is equipping you with the knowledge and education so that you can go out and get a job.
They don’t teach you how to master your finances – how to master money, so you won’t have to worry about making enough money, the rest of your life.
What’s another thing they don’t teach you at school? How to prepare and file your taxes. At one point in your life, you’re going to have to do it yourself, or pay the price to have somebody else do it and botch up, because you couldn’t check it, or to have hefty penalties because you didn’t do it.
Income, savings, outflow, investment, what are your goals, and your appetite for risk – some of the important factors you have to know in your financial equation.
The sooner you get a handle and master your finances, the sooner you can move on to other things – like actually going after your goals and dreams.
Life’s too short to live with regrets
Go after what you want.
Is your situation not perfect? Not enough money? Supporting a family? Not enough time?
Find elements of what you want, and find ways to make time for it.
I used to think that when I’m all settled in life – when I have the right amount of income, with the right business, the right amount of free time, and the right amount of money saved in the bank, then I can go after my dreams.
I still think that way sometimes, though.
And if I’ve learned something in the past 10 years, it’s that life’s not so easy. It will rarely give you everything you want on a silver platter. You will have to commit to achieving your dreams.
And I’m not talking about commitment as in – “I’ll do it when I have time, because there are more important things to do” type of commitment.
What’s more important? Your work? Overtime? Family enmeshment and drama?
Ugh.
Never have I read in a memoir that people regret they didn’t do enough work at the office, or that they should have immersed themselves in more unhealthy family drama.
Never have I read that people regret doing unimportant stuff.
They always regret not doing what’s dear to their hearts.
Another lesson – it doesn’t have to be one thing, for the rest of your life. People grow, and people change. We can have several passions. Find what works out for you, now.
At least, for your sake, do something to get you closer to your dreams.
Small steps everyday.
World of Tanks and Starcraft 2 is not a transferable skill
Because I should have been taking more risks to get what I wanted, instead of wallowing in videogames to escape the pain of failure and despair.
The plan was to graduate, build a business, and coast all the way to the finish line.
So then I wanted to hedge my bets. I took a franchise of a shop owned by a good friend. Me and some other friends also franchised another stall. The locations seemed to be OK. I really felt I was on my way to building my business, and then, game over.
But then, the money wasn’t coming in.
Slowly, over the course of several months, I bled and bled money, until I didn’t have anymore to start again.
I felt defeated, I felt crushed, tired, frustrated. At the world, at the situation. Mostly, with myself.
I didn’t want to feel pain, and I did all I could to escape it. I ate and slept more than usual. I didn’t take care for myself.
I so badly wanted to escape the pain of that situation, that I avoided the very act that would have gotten me out of that rut – get working, building, and try again.
But I was so afraid – so I escaped, and played computer games all day.
In hindsight, I got so good at those games, because of all the time and effort I poured into them. I used them as proxies for real life, to find a sense of growth and achievement.
But when the time came for me to get back into the real world – nothing. Nobody would hire me, and especially not for my prowess in playing World of Tanks, and Starcraft 2.
Face reality, and move on forward. Move ahead. I regret the time I spent avoiding reality, and escaping fear.
Move forward.
Move on.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this article!, Which is over here! 🙂
In the meantime, what lessons have you learned since you graduated from school?
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