Allow Yourself To Be Suprised

To help facilitate a whole day session for Grade 9 fathers and sons, I had to be at the meeting place at 5 in the morning.

Now, I consider myself a morning person, but after a tight and heavy week, one thing I’d like to do is sleep in on a Saturday morning.

So what did I do? I went to the meeting place at 5 AM.  I got back late in the evening since it was an out of town event.

I wasn’t too excited about the event before going, but after?

I was surprised!

I really had a great day, despite all my doubts and misgivings about going to the event.

All of it unaccounted for.  All of it unplanned.  I really had no idea what was going to happen.

And I was pleasantly surprised.

I met great people, people I would be working with again.  I also met up with a former colleague of mine, who was there to have some quality time with his son.

I also had fun leading the class and their fathers through the activities, as well as allowing them chances to have a fun time together, and to talk and to get to know each other a bit more.

I learned a lot today.  Not only on how to improve and to create a better atmosphere for this specific kind of audience, and to run it for around 300 people, but that people are all in different situations, and that people, deep down inside, want to create strong connections with other people.

People they respect and love deeply.

 

Allow for the unexpected

We were behind schedule.  People were not as participative as I’d hoped they would be.  I didn’t get enough sleep that I wanted.  We didn’t have a great orientation and there was initial confusion when the buses of participants arrived.

And that was ok.

For all of that to happen, I had to keep an open mind, and allow myself to be open to the moments, events, that could happen, and to have a mindset prepared to see the positive in any situation.

I had to allow myself to be surprised, rather than guarded, closed, jaded, and frustrated, when things didn’t go as planned, or as I had imagined them to be.

If I had closed off myself to the possibilities and the surprises that can happen, I wouldn’t think that I would be able to have facilitated such a fantastic and meaningful experience for the fathers and sons.

And I wouldn’t have had as much fun.

 

Give up the need for total control

The fathers were the ones used to giving orders around the house, and when we gave a chance for the sons to have control, the experience was such a big eye opener for everyone involved.

The fathers and sons, who may be caught in power struggles of their own in the house, gave each other a chance to have power, and in the process, gave up control.  This also allowed them to have an opportunity to get to know each other better.  Their openness and willingness allowed them more quality time together.

And allowed them to surprise each other.

If I wasn’t willing to give up total control of the proceedings and what I wanted to happened, I would’ve ended the day on a very frustrated and sad note.

But by allowing myself to be surprised and by looking for the positive and keeping the end goal in mind, I, along with the fathers and sons, were able to have fun, and learn a thing or two in the process.

There is no such thing as total control.  There will always be things beyond our control, but that doesn’t stop us from wanting total control.

One of the best lessons I ever learned was to not expect total control of every scenario.  I can prepare the best I can, but there will always be space for surprises.

That’s how miracles come about.  When you least expect it.

 

It’s in how we see things

I remember climbing up the highest peak on the island that I live in.  It’s pretty high up, above the clouds.  I recall the first thought I had when I made it to the top: “Thank God I survived.”

I then recall thinking about why I was there, and why I agreed to do such a crazy thing in the first place.  The place was punishing, the cold, freezing, and the rain, relentless.

Then, the sunrise happened, and I was taken aback.

I began to think about how the experience has been good to me despite the many inconveniences and pain it has caused me.  I then began to see things in a different light.  I thought about it, and felt thankful and happy for the experience.

That, I felt, was a little miracle.

I could’ve allowed myself to stay in my negativity and sorry state, and I would have failed to feel happy and see the beauty of what was around me.  And many times, that’s how we live our lives day to day.

There may be events in life we can never plan for.  We can never plan for every eventuality, and still live a fulfilled, meaningful life.  It’s really up to us what we make of it, and how we take what comes to us.

Again, and again.

Allow yourself to be surprised.

 

How have you been surprised recently?  Please share in the comments below!