I’ve had the experience of handling an extremely talented team, but yet they don’t perform as well, because they’re not confident.
There are several factors to consider when it comes to confidence. Of course, there’s the person themselves, and the environment and encouragement (or lack of), that we provide for our team.
Why aren’t people more confident? And what can you do about it?
Lack of Experience
People are risk averse, and nobody wants to make a mistake.
Worse yet, nobody wants to fail, and have that become a label and defining feature of their lives and careers.
But, how else will you gain the experience?
People lack confidence because they are unsure of what will happen, because they are breaking new ground with what they are doing.
And with that, comes uncertainty, doubt, and the feeling of being in the dark.
People are more confident when they have experience, and when they have had a taste of what they need to do, what they need to go through, as well as what result they are looking for.
Give people a chance to have experience, and if there’s a mentor present, then better.
I remember having a mentor, there to guide me and to share their experience.
And that’s the important thing here, to gain confidence from experience, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your experience.
Find ways to gain and share experience, on what can work and won’t work, to be better informed on what to watch out for moving forward.
Lack of Information
People want to know, to have more confidence.
The doubt and uncertainty comes from a general lack of information. Because I don’t know, I’m not confident.
I’m not confident about what needs to happen, and what I need to make it happen.
Too often, I find myself in situations where there is incomplete critical information, which leads to me second-guessing myself, and making moves in the dark.
Worst of all, I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong.
I’ll come off unsure, uncertain, and in unsavory instances, people take advantage of me, coming off more confident and sure, only to later find out it was all a scam.
G.I. Joe says, “Knowing is half the battle”. Same with confidence.
The more information you have that’s important and relevant to your goals, the better decisions you can make, and the more confident you become in making and carrying out those decisions.
Take steps to find out critical information, such as clear expectations, available resources, and timelines.
Take time to get all the facts straight.
Lack of willingness
There are times when people lack confidence not because of a lack of capability, or information.
But rather, for a lack of willingness.
Because I don’t want to do it, I then don’t feel confident.
It’s like trying to fight for something, when you know fully well that you’re in the wrong.
As a kid, I could never fight for something that was wrong, and that I knew full well would hurt others, and wasn’t right.
On the other hand, when I know full well I’m right, I would fight with all that I’ve got to make sure what is right, and what I want, to happen.
How would you then help people have more willingness? Or be more willing?
One way to develop willingness, is to look for common ground, and to look for where the motivations and interests would overlap.
It’s about finding alignment between what they want, and what you want. When interests and goals begin to align, then the willingness starts to form.
Previous Negative Experiences
One big factor why people don’t have confidence, is because it has not been built up, or it has been beaten down by all the past experiences.
It’s like the negative people in my life. Not only have they been negative with me, but because of all of the negative experiences I’ve had with them, whatever they say or do to me, even with good intentions, end up getting a mean look and negative feelings from me.
Because the history is there, and with that, come the experiences and the expectation that there will be a negative reaction from this person, or from the environment.
I once had a workmate where all I did was met by her criticism. Guess who I didn’t share what I was doing at work, and who I avoided like the plague at the office.
I didn’t have a lot of confidence, and a lot of negative experiences and feelings about that person.
It’s hard to be confident when you know that people are going to be all negative and bitchy about what you do. I could only take so much.
And so could others as well.
Build it!
Confidence is built over time, through the small actions moment to moment.
Are you being deliberate to build it, or are you unknowingly destroying it?
What other reasons do you have why people aren’t confident? Please share in the comments below!
Leave a Reply