Confident Vulnerability: I’m OK

We want the power that comes with being confident.

And yet, we are afraid of being vulnerable, and showing that to other people.

Afraid of looking like we know less.  Afraid of feeling inadequate and defenseless.

Afraid of being hurt.

But with vulnerability, also comes confidence, and power, as well.

How is this possible?

 

Break down the walls.

I used to fake feeling confident, and had to always project an image of being a knowledgeable expert.

I would be pressured to think of the right and most perfect thing to say, even when I really didn’t know, and I had to make sure what I said always made me look like an expert.

And expert, of which I was not.

For a long time, I thought that mode of confidence was correct.

It wasn’t.  I paid the price for that, not only in lost opportunities and regret, but in denying myself the growth and acceptance of myself.

In the beginning, it was terrifying, but being vulnerable taught me so much about myself, and in the long run, actually gave me confidence.

We build walls inside of us.  Walls around part of us that we don’t want to show people.  Parts of us that we’re ashamed of.  Parts of us that don’t give us confidence, and we feel won’t give us credibility.

But not all parts of us are like that.  It’s those parts of us that we keep inside our walls, that people want to be able to see, feel, and relate to.

It’s our shortcomings, failures, and how we deal with them as a person, that can become the connection to other people.

Only by breaking down the walls, and allowing people to see that part of us, will that happen.

Only by acknowledging where we really are, and what we really have, will we begin to accept ourselves, have confidence, and make progress.

Vulnerability allows us to face the demons within.  And to grow stronger from that experience.

Confidence allows us to do the same, and to keep on going.

 

Confidence comes from vulnerability comes from confidence, and so on.

Confidence.  Vulnerability.  They are two sides of the same coin.

True confidence doesn’t come from outstanding ability, or extraordinary expertise.

True confidence comes from an acceptance of who you are, where you are, what you want, what you can do, and everything that you’re not.

True confidence says: “I have faith in who I am, and what I can do.”

Even if you’re not the best.  Even if you’re not an expert.

True vulnerability doesn’t come from weakness, from resignation and hopelessness.

True vulnerability comes from a quiet acceptance of who you are, what you’re not capable of, where you want to grow, and what you’re feeling.

True vulnerability says: “I’m not perfect, and I accept that.”

True vulnerability says: “I’m not OK, and that’s OK.”

Vulnerability allows us to see ourselves for who we really are, and to use that to connect and relate to others, as a starting point for growth, and to keep us open and honest to ourselves.

Confidence allows us to accomplish things we dream of, to inspire confidence in others as well, and to have faith in ourselves, what we do, and who we are.

There can never be true confidence without true vulnerability, and likewise, true vulnerability without true confidence.

It’s a cycle, and you can start anywhere you like.

Anywhere you feel the most comfortable with.  Small steps at a time.

Then bigger and bigger steps.

 

Confidence + Vulnerability = Comfortable Authenticity

It’s not only about developing our authenticity, and being genuinely who we are.

But it’s about being comfortable in our authenticity, warts and all.

I’m not saying that we should be confident in who we are right now, and stay that way, forever.

You might not be happy with who you are, or where you are right now.  That’s fine.  That’s you being vulnerable, and accepting what that vulnerability is showing you.

Have confidence in your ability to start from there, and to improve and move forward towards where you want to go, and who you want to be.

Be confident being a work in progress.

Be vulnerable knowing you’ll always be one.

Being vulnerable doesn’t mean being weak.

Being confident doesn’t mean being strong.

As we become more confident in who we are, and safer in our vulnerability, we begin to develop a comfort in our authenticity.

A feeling that “I am who I am, and that’s OK.  I’m not who I’m not, and that’s also OK.”

A feeling that you’re not pressured to be somebody else, who you are clearly not.

A feeling of acceptance, surrender, and warmth, in your genuineness.

In YOU.

 

Have you had a moment where you felt confident vulnerability?  Please share in the comments below!