I wanted freedom.
But I held on to things that took away the very thing that I wanted.
And this isn’t just the freedom to do whatever I wanted, but to have whatever I wanted, and to choose, think, and believe, in whatever I wanted.
Yet here I am, still stuck.
What keep you stuck, but still you hold on to?
What other people think
I was stuck for a good long time, because I was so concerned about what other people would think about me, what they would say about me, and how they would react.
People at work, my friends, even my family.
I was trying so hard to please other people, that I kept on forgetting that I had to be true to myself as well. On what I wanted, and how I express myself, regardless of how they view it.
Because I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and to hell with what other people think.
I used to think other people’s opinions about me were important, and that was false. Feedback is great, but to rely solely on other’s feedback is disastrous.
I couldn’t move forward. I was so preoccupied listening to other people’s voices, that I was losing touch with my own inner voice. The voice that’s telling me the right things, and what’s important to me.
To be free of the need for other’s approval, is to be free, and yet we hold on to their opinion and approval. Because if they like us, it makes us more of a person, more accomplished, more meaningful.
It’s not them that determines whether you’re a person, living life to the fullest, accomplished, or meaningful.
It’s you.
Freedom is not about what they want you to become, but with what you want to become.
Fear of failing
Because our mind cannot distinguish between our imagination and reality, our fears become real obstacles to us, even if they haven’t happened yet.
Fear can chain us, grip us, and paralyze us. Especially the fear of failing. I was so afraid to fail, and to make mistakes, that there were a lot of things that I didn’t try doing!
All of that, I later regret.
I regret not trying, rather than having tried, and failed. It all seemed so scary at the start, but once you try it, once you get going, you’ll realize that it’s not as bad as it seems.
I used to believe that the worst thing that can happen to me is to pour my life savings into starting a business, and then to lose it all.
In a span of two years, I did just exactly that.
What I believed to be the worst that can happen, did happen, and yet, 5 years later, I’m still alive, kicking, and raring to give it another shot.
To act in the face of fear, is to be free.
A job
Early on, I realized I was never one for the nine-to-five, and I realize many are too.
But they feel they have to get a job, out of fear, anxiousness, doubt, guilt, and responsibility.
Maybe it is the solution to what you need now, but in the long run, if you truly want freedom, then having a job isn’t the solution.
You may receive a steady paycheck, but is it all that stable? When your future is dictated by the whims of the market, of company owners, of governments, of your bosses and peers, and heck, maybe even of other companies as well?
And without a moments’ notice, you can lose your job, and all that comes along with it. You can’t decide to give your own paycheck. They do.
You have no control.
And it’s not just a job, but the concept of having a job, where you’re not building anything that you can control and generate proceeds for you, but when you’re just waiting for work to come in.
I’m looking at you, freelancers.
I’m a freelancer now, and I’m realizing that it’s no different from a job. You put yourself out there, get other people who want work done, on their terms, on their demand, and then you make it happen under a deadline.
Sounds very much like a job.
Because if I don’t work, I don’t get paid.
I’m still trading my time, for money. That’s not freedom.
Beliefs and views
Because how we see things, and what we believe is possible, or impossible, influences what we actually do in a situation.
The beliefs you have right now, are not the ones you have to keep. You can choose them, change them, even in the face of overwhelming pressure and uncertainty.
Because of our experiences, our learnings, how we’ve been rewarded and hurt in our lives, we’ve built up these beliefs and views that don’t actually push us to success, but rather, to defend us, and to help us survive.
I clung so desperately to what I knew then because all my life, that’s what I’ve known, and how much of a fool would I be, if I discarded all that I knew? It would be like saying that I was wrong all this time, and all the efforts have gone to waste.
No humility there, all wasteful pride.
Beliefs can be changed. If they’re no longer helping you get to where you need to go, then there’s a belief, a view, you have about the world, or yourself, that’s stopping you.
Change them. Build and adopt empowering beliefs.
The need to be right
Another reason why people cling to their beliefs strongly, even though it’s taking away their freedom, is because they don’t want to be wrong.
Nobody wants to be proven wrong, and to be made a fool of.
But the longer we don’t face reality, the bigger the fools we become.
As it’s said in a lot of self-help and financial literate – “Would you rather be right? Or be rich?”
Because the way you do things now, might not be the right things.
Because what you believe is impossible now, might actually be possible.
And because what you’re chasing for, might actually be what you’re most afraid of.
Free yourself from the need to be right.
Free you mind and heart to possibilities.
Freedom is built
It is built. It is earned. It is developed.
You find ways to build freedom in your life. Through the self-awareness you develop, the habits that you build, and the actions that you take.
Let go.
What does freedom look like for you? Please share in the comments below!
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