We are what we repeatedly do, even if it doesn’t help us.
Cut what is unhealthy, and then build new and empowering habits, actions, and beliefs.
A lot of our present state, is influenced by how well we have dealt with our experiences in the past.
And those show up in our actions, words, decisions, and the results that we get.
What patterns are you stuck on right now?
Stuck on replay
Have you ever wondered why no matter how you try to change things in your life, you end up getting the same result?
Like your life is stuck on replay.
Without our knowing it, we rely on our past experiences and knowledge to make the daily moment to moment decisions that make up our life.
And if those experiences lead us to make the same decisions over and over again, due to familiarity, comfort, and not knowing anything else, then we’re unaware of their influence, or we have not learned our lessons.
Because of our accidental conditioning with our experiences, we all have life patterns. These are decisions, actions, and perceptions that we have to certain situations and stimuli.
All of these, coming from our internal self.
I used to have a boss that, when stressed would not be seen in the office. When times get tough, he’d ghost everyone, until either an emergency happens, or he feels well enough to show up.
He was like that in his previous role, and then, as my boss.
I talked to him, sharing with him what I see him doing, and his impact on me and the team. He thanked me for the feedback. I left shortly after.
And then, several years later, I find out he’s at it again.
Turns out, even if you did know the reasons, you and your life can still be stuck in replay.
Seeking familiarity
We human beings have an incredible ability to adapt, and this rings true for situations and conditions which may be hurting us, but if we’ve grown comfortable and have learned to cope, it can be very hard for us to change.
That, and our primal brain tends to assume the worst. If I know Im surviving in these conditions, but I don’t know if I’ll find joy, safety, or happiness outside, then I’d rather stay here.
Even if we’re hurting and in pain. That’s why many choose to stay with abusive relationships, because they choose to stay with what is known and comfortable.
Even if the pattern is unhealthy, if it’s familiar, if it’s all we’ve ever known, then we choose to stay, or we break out and enter uncharted territory.
You always have a choice
The scarier the choice, the harder it is for us to make it.
Risk is such a funny thing. It’s what will make our lives better, but it’s something we shy away from.
We want the progress, the change, the journey, to be sure.
But there is no sure thing in life, except change.
The harder we resist change, the less free we become, and the more chained we are to those life patterns that only hold us back.
You always have a choice to make a decision you would not otherwise, to change for the better.
Choose to end unhealthy habits and patterns, and to build helpful ones in their place.
What’s a life pattern that you want to change? Please let me know in the comments below!
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