How Not To Be Affected By Negative Emotions

I was blessed to have met someone with the superpower of empathy.

And one of the concerns that she had, was –

“How do I not get affected by the negative emotions I face everyday?”

Good question.

What can you do to not be affected by negative emotions?

Disclaimer: I am a big fan of personal experimentation.  Meaning, try out these practices, and see what works best for you.

 

Spend less time

I’ve found that I experience negative emotions more frequently, when the people that I spend time with are negative, and trigger all the bad inside of me.

In which case, the solution becomes simple in theory – spend less time with them.

There is a reason why, as we grow older, our social circles grow smaller and smaller.

Part of it is there is less of a need to be accepted by a group, as we grow more comfortable in our own skins, and we have slowly found the groups that are important to us, and make us feel accepted.

That, and we have less and less patience for negativity, however we define it.  I know I have.

Negative person calling?  I don’t answer.  Send a message instead.

Minimize meetings with negative people involved.

Don’t get caught up in the drama and emotions.  Learn to say no politely, yet firmly.

Spend less time with people, relationships, and situations, that don’t empower you.

 

Take control of your environment

All emotions are energy, and negative emotions, is negative energy.

If we take on too much negative energy, it starts to show.  Negative effects on our health and well-boing accumulate until it just forces us to stop – either by sickness, or something worse.

After a particularly challenging and negative emotion-filled situation, I make it a point to switch places.  To get out of the room, and to make sure the room gets ventilated, or “reset” so to speak.

The energy lingers after a while.  It’s that feeling you get when you enter a room that something’s not quite right, or that it’s a very welcoming and happy place.

Put little reminders in your office or living spaces that remind you of positivity, and that keep the energy flowing.  Open your windows to let air in, a small plant to keep the place fresh, or pictures of what matters most to you.

Take control of your environment, and you won’t have a problem with negative emotions.

Meditation and prayer

There are times, where the best way to handle negative emotions, is to be by yourself, and to focus on your self, your breathing, and on you just being present in the here and now.

Or to connect with a higher power.  I know many people who pray, to be able to manage their negative emotions, and help them help themselves in not being affected, and in managing their emotional health.

What I want to highlight here, is that the process is more important that the result.

You will never be fully, and completely, be able to be rid of all the negative emotions of your life.  The question then becomes, how do you manage it when it’s there.

That’s what meditation and prayer helps you to do in the moment, to recognize your triggers, and to build habits and practices to manage the emotions, and mitigate their negative effects.

Its not about being perfect.  It’s about the little things that you do that help you.

1% better per day, and little by little you just build the skills to manage and not be affected by your negative emotions.

Talk to somebody

Somebody you trust, somebody who will listen to you openly and without judgement.

This is why it’s effective to have a coach, a counselor.  They will help you help yourself, and to provide an objective third-person view.

Our negative emotions come not only from our experiences, but especially, from our perceptions of those experiences.  It is how we take in, understand, and expect of, these experiences, that make us feel what we feel.

When I first got married, I expected my wife to be as particular as I was when it came to food safety, and preparing the food.  The first time I saw her defrosting something I felt unsafe, negative, and angry.

But then, that was because she didn’t know.  She wasn’t trying to hurt me, but that’s how I saw it in my eyes.

Being able to talk to somebody can calm you down, provide you support, and most of all, be able to tell you and call out what’s helping and not helping you.

Be kind to yourself

Because all emotions are from the inside, and not the outside.

No one can force you to feel happiness, sadness, or anger, or any emotion.  You have to want to feel it, and you have to want to experience it.

Whether we’re aware of it, or not.

Be kind to yourself.  Everyone goes through negative emotions.

But if you’re not kind to yourself, you often choose to stay in them.

It was like me being in the worst time of my life then, because I chose to stay.  I chose to be miserable.

But you always have a choice.

Be kind to yourself.

 

What do you do to manage negative emotions?  Please share in the comments below!