The Power Of Conversation

Never underestimate the power of conversation.

Even a simple one, there is magic happening in a one-on-one, or in a one-on-many.

Or even a many-on-one.  Great things can happen in conversations.

And I learned this in a very unlikely place, traditionally, for these kind of conversations to happen.

Inside a classroom.  How did that happen?

In a traditional classroom, the teacher does most of the talking.  With the students doing most of the listening.

Not in this one.  The students actually had more airtime, and the teacher was also a great listener, and asked great questions.

I was an active participant in a discussion from all angles, very relevant, very deep, all insightful comments.

It was my version of being an active participant in the Roman debates at the Agora.  Plato and Aristotle must have felt this way.

I still remember the first day of class, 7:30 in the morning, teacher walks in, and does the very first thing ever for the semester: a pop quiz.  There was only one question though:

“What did you learn today?”

Really? At 7:30 in the morning?

After that, we all shared our answers, and talked about our answers, shared stories, insights, and what we could do next time.

That was the theme, the feel, for the whole semester.  A whole semester of sharing, questions, insights, conversations.  We shared stories about people we knew, experiences, and what we would do.  Of course, always sharing what we learned that day.

I signed up for a Leadership in the 21st Century class.  That class should’ve been named Life 101.

Thanks, Sir Shorty.

Teach through Conversation

In a conversation – a space and time where both have free reign and openness to share, speak, and listen to each other, powerful learning can happen.

Teaching in a conversation can come in many different forms – sharing stories and experiences, sharing anecdotes and secondhand stories, and even through asking questions.

I found the best moments of teaching that I had personally, was when I was sharing a personal story that highlighted the point and message that I wanted to say.

Also, asking questions on what they learned, and how does one thing relate to another, also are great ways to teach in conversations.

Come to think of it, there never really was a lecture in that class I had.  All conversations, but all teaching moments as well.

Also, conversations don’t assume that you know it all.  It’s about teaching what you know, and giving space for the other people to share and ask as well.

In a conversation, there is also space for you to be taught, and to learn.

Learn through Conversation

Through listening and participating in a conversation, there are plenty of chances for you to learn as well.  In fact, a conversation is one big learning moment.

Through the stories, sharing, and asking, you get to know more about how things work, what to do, what not to do, and how you can apply the lessons.

You also get to know more about other people.  What made them succeed? What are their struggles, joys, hoped, dreams, and fears?  What drives them?  How do they see the world?

And again: “What did you learn?”

I’ve also had the experience that in a conversation, I wasn’t just learning about the other person, but I was also learning about myself.

What I was saying, what I was thinking, and what I was feeling, all are telling me things about myself, and a conversation is a great opportunity to get to know yourself more, and maybe work some of the things you’ve been thinking about.

One way to also do this, with great effect, is to get a coach.

In effect, Sir Shorty was like a coach to all of us for that semester, and for some of us, even after.

Build Relationships through Conversation

In that class, I got closer to my classmates, and became friends with them.  As we get to know a person better, and open up to them as well, relationship and trust is built.

Listening to others, and being listened to, genuinely, is powerful.  Open, safe, and supportive conversations do that.  They are able to build stronger bonds, and make people feel understood, and a little bit safer.

Conversations can also lead towards avoiding unhealthy relationships as well, and can provide deep insights as well about you and the relationships you create, keep, and forget.

Leading through Conversation

At the heart of the class, this was the point that Sir Shorty wanted to make:

That leadership is a daily act, and so is conversation.  Both are deeply intertwined.

Every conversation is a leadership moment, not necessarily for the person you’re speaking to, but for you.

Every conversation is a chance for you to practice personal leadership, taking control of what you want to say, do, and develop.

Every conversation is a chance to live out your values, share your vision, find common ground and areas of agreement,

Every conversation is expectation setting.  Setting the tone for future talks, showing how you treat others, and how you want to be treated by others.

Every conversation is an opportunity for performance management – giving a compliment, great feedback, honest feedback and insights, and what the end in mind is.

Never underestimate the power of conversation.

 

How has conversation been powerful for you?  Please share in the comments below!