On my way to work, and sometimes even going back home, this song always starts playing on the radio. I can think of reasons this song from 1987 gets so much airplay, even now in 2015 – people here like it, can relate to it, and they don’t change the station when they hear it. It’s catchy too, I admit.
What really tugs at me though is the lyrics, that start off innocently enough, then quickly take a sharp turn for the worse. With its catchy and upbeat melody, the song then proceeds to paint a picture of a girl in trouble, trapped in a relationship of abuse, pain she denies, and a world she is so desperately trying to keep together.
It saddens me to think that people like the song not just because of the catchy melody, but because there are a lot out there who can relate, deeply, to the song’s story. Of course, I don’t want to wish pain upon others, but pain is something we all have to live with.
There are many, many people out there looking mighty fine, confident, and all made up, dealing with their own pains, hurts, and demons. We just don’t know, just don’t see, and most of the time, just don’t care. We’ve got enough problems on our own we’ve got to deal with.
Even so, we’ve got to be kind. Kind to people, and kind to ourselves as well. We’re all fighting, struggling, coping, living. We don’t need to be another enemy. And being enemies rarely gets us what we want anyway.
I think it’s because I’m clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe it’s because I’m crazy
I try not to act too proud
She even thinks it’s her fault! That what she was doing and how she was acting, was the reason for her being beaten up.
And there have been times where I also felt that way. That the reason people were upset about me was because of me, how I acted, and what I did, not knowing that there could be other reasons beyond my control that triggered their disapproval or violent reaction towards me. That sucked.
That put me in a position to either be true to myself and suffer, or lie to myself about what I feel, and suffer also. Not a good spot to be in.
We always have a choice, though that choice is not always so obvious. We can be stripped, or have offered to someone else all of our power, that we do not become aware of our power to choose and be free.
They only hit until you cry
After that you don’t ask why
You just don’t argue anymore
Silently, she bears the suffering and pain brought about her. The continued abuse has dulled her senses and stripped her of her will to fight back – for fear of only being beaten up and abused again.
Or the fear that there is no other choice, and that this is the only way to live. Or the fear that one wouldn’t know how to live another way, that this is the only way I know how.
But you know what? There is a way. You can choose to follow your own way out.
Yes I think I’m okay
I walked into the door again
Well, if you ask that’s what I’ll say
And it’s not your business anyway
And despite all of that, we fool ourselves into thinking and feeling that we’re okay. That this is how life is supposed to be, and maybe it can get better, but we don’t know how.
We become comfortable with what we tell ourselves and what we believe. It takes effort to change beliefs, especially deep-seated ones we consider central to who we are. If it doesn’t help us get to a life we want and deserve, then we’re better off without it.
Just don’t ask me how I am
Sometimes, all we really need is someone who will genuinely and with all love and openness ask us how we are, and be there for us.
And most of the time, we know how we really feel. We may not accept it fully, deny that we are in a bad situation, and don’t see the options that we can take, but we know how we feel. Respect that. Respect yourself as well to do something about it.
Life is hard enough as it is, and and we don’t need to be enemies.
We all have our own struggles. Be kind.
We have the power to choose.
Honesty to ourselves is one of the best things that could ever happen to us.
Let’s be there for each other.
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