This Is The Paradox Of Leadership

I notice that in a lot of the team building sessions and learning workshops I’ve had the pleasure to lead, they all wanted enrichment and training on leadership skills.

I also noticed there are a lot of self-help, leadership, and personal effectiveness books, materials, and resources out there.

We even idolize and revere the leaders who have made a great impact on our communities, country, and even on ourselves.

Though that may be the case, something doesn’t add up.

This is the paradox of leadership:

Even with all the material available, there’s not enough leaders.

That’s the weird thing.  Schools try to teach values, people try to change their lives, take better control, go after their goals, get people together, people teaching other people, guiding, coaching, mentoring, leading.

And yet, there seems to be a general lack of leadership in our world.  Despite all of the available material.

You would think after all the years, with all the writing, all the classes, all the materials, all the role models, that we would have all learned our lessons.

But maybe, life doesn’t work that way.

And maybe, becoming a leader isn’t so straightforward either.

 

What does it take to develop leadership?

Maybe, leadership isn’t developed through the study of materials alone.

A lot of people will say that leadership is developed through experiences and challenges.  That’s true, though a lot of other people keep facing challenges and have a lot of experiences, but they aren’t necessarily leaders.

In fact, some keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.  They keep working on their weaknesses, but may never get any real results.

There are also some people that say leadership is a born talent.  While it is true that some talents related to being a good leader comes more easily to others than some, without the proper environment and guidance, the talent may not become productive, and may not become leadership at all.

And some even use their leadership talents for selfish reasons, and for self-destructive reasons.

It’s not just nature and nurture.

Because it can be both, or one, or none at all.  No one’s journey to leadership and becoming a better person is the same.  All our stories are unique to us and our circumstances.

I’ve seen people born to well-to-do backgrounds become leaders, and fail to become leaders.  I’ve also seen people born with the odds stacked against them, so to speak, and again, either succeed or fail to become leaders.

So, what gets someone to become a leader?

 

They’ve got to want it.

For whatever reason, people have got to want to become a leader, to become one.

It can be for other people, and maybe even for themselves first.

People first have to recognize that they can control their fate, their destiny, where they go and what they can have, what they see and what they believe in.

They’ve got to want to lead.  Maybe, lead others.

But at its heart, leadership is not leading others first.  It’s leading yourself first, and leading yourself to become the person capable of inspiring and leading others.  To become a person capable of inspiring yourself.

And reasons are varied as they are valid – weight loss, career change, heartbreak, survival, loss, and even love.

That’s one reason why we don’t have enough leaders.  People don’t want to become one.  It’s easier to be led by someone, or someone else.  Less challenging situations, less difficult decisions.

People see leadership as a burden, a responsibility, rather than an asset and an opportunity.

 

They’ve got to follow through and not give up.

And not to take this lightly, but it seems to me that it isn’t easy to become a leader, even to yourself, at all times.

Leaders have to go through a lot of challenges and walls.  People see them as different.  People may not understand them.  They themselves may see them as different, and may not yet understand themselves in the moment as well.

Being a leader, and developing leadership, is a journey of personal growth and experience.  A unique story of your life that you get to make, tell, and share.

In this way, you are similar to the other greats who have their stories immortalized in books, stories, and movies – that each story and journey is unique, the experiences and lessons unique, the intentions and results different.

There is no quick fix, no shortcut, no easy way there.

The journey requires your commitment and follow through.  And the road can be hard.

That’s another reason why we have few leaders.  The people who want to become leaders get beaten down and cast out, even driven from the very groups and communities they want to help and impact.

More often than not, the allure of an easier life, and rest from the hard journey, invite them to take a break from leadership, or whatever they define being a leader.

And a lot of people stop, and don’t continue the journey.  Their journey.

 

We want leaders, but don’t develop leadership in ourselves.

We complain, we blame, we make noise, but what are we doing in our little circles?  In our own capacities?

We’re starved.  We’re hungry for more leadership, better leadership, stronger leadership, in the ways, means, and manner that is meaningful for us, whatever, and wherever we may be.

Maybe the true paradox of leadership isn’t in the lack of leaders.

It’s in expecting it of others, when you don’t expect it of yourself.

 

 

How are you becoming a leader in your own way?  Please share a comment below!