The Trap Of Giving (Even When It Makes Us Feel Good)

Give.

Give until

it hurts.

Give until it hurts no more.

But there’s a secret in the middle.

It’s figuring how to give, until it hurts no more, without giving all of yourself, what you’ve got, away.

It’s not give until you have nothing left for yourself.  Because you can’t give, what you don’t have.

But we push, push, to keep on giving.

What traps us into giving and giving?  The kind that doesn’t recharge us, but instead, empties us out?

 

Obligation.

When we give because we feel we need to, we aren’t really giving wholeheartedly.  This obligation breeds resentment, tiredness, and burnout.

Because the phrase, the belief “I have to”, or “I need to” are like invisible chains.  Imagine the power of the opposite phrases, such as “I choose to”, or “I want to”.

Light-years apart difference.

Giving solely to fulfill an obligation, is conditioning us to be helpless.  But the world isn’t that way.  We always have a choice, and it’s a choice whether to give, or not.

If it isn’t important to you, if the people aren’t important, and there’s no important result, why then would you waste your time and energy there?

 

Guilt

A lot of us get caught in the trap of giving because we feel guilt.

Because we feel we should be giving, doing something for others.

But then, at the end of the day, we’re still giving up our power, to other people, to their opinions, views, and decisions.

We learn to be helpless.  Helpless to the guilt that we feel.

Because guilt is a sign that there was something that we shouldn’t have done, and we’re trying to make up for it.

You’re being chained to the past.  To your, or other’s, negative interpretation of a past action or situation.

Giving out of a sense of guilt doesn’t refill us, but rather, it just makes the chains of the past stronger.  It’s not guilt that would make it genuine giving, but forgiveness.

Learn to forgive yourself, rather than be trapped in guilt

 

Helplessness

In the end, giving becomes a trap when we feel helpless to do it.  When we fell there is no way out but to give, give, and give, even when there’s nothing left for us.

No more money, energy, and time.  For ourselves, for what matters most to us and the future that we want.

You don’t have to keep saying yes to other people.

You do need to keep saying yes to yourself.

We always have a choice, no matter what.

Are you choosing yourself?

Are you choosing to say yes to what matters most to you?

 

What do you say yes to?  Please share in the comments below!