What People Really Expect From You

As a teenager, I looked for approval everywhere.  I wanted to meet what people expected from me.

So I did what people said, and said what people wanted to hear.

In the hopes of making people happy.

In the hopes that by making them happy, I would be making myself happy.

That’s not how it works.

What do people really expect from you?

Satisfy their expectations

And this can be anything, and different people have different expectations as well.

I’ve gotten myself into situations where I was trying to please everybody, and as a result, ended up not pleasing anyone at all.

The first time I was called upon to chair a meeting, one of the items on the agenda was that we had to come to an agreement on when the schedule for the next meeting would be.

Now, I wanted to take into consideration everyone’s schedule and needs, but there were several people with concerns that were not at all work-related, and could have been easily rescheduled.

And it was possible for me to take as much into consideration, but still set the schedule for the meeting, and have people work around it.  Instead, I flip-flopped, and it took us longer than usual to set that schedule.

In hindsight, I was lucky enough to set that meeting schedule.

 

Even unsaid expectations

In comparison, whenever my family would eat out, the dreaded question would be:

“Where do you want to eat?”

I’m guessing because people don’t want to decide, and expect others to decide for them, and there are people who don’t want to suggest, and decide, and still have their expectations met.

Talk about being in between a rock, and a hard place, for family dinner.

Not all that people tell you, people tell you.

It’s hard enough to meet everyone’s expectations.  It’s harder still when the expectations are uncommunicated, unsaid, yet still present.

 

Me, me, and me

I look back on the times when I blew my lid because of other people’s actions.  The times I reacted negatively due to other people not satisfying what I expected of them.

A lot of the times, people think of themselves first.  How will this impact me?  Will I be safe?  How will I be able to do such a thing?  Why did you do that?  Why didn’t you do it this way?

I remember a sales and marketing class I took up in college, and I still remember our teacher telling us that the magic question customers need answered before they buy your product is: “What’s in it for me?”

And that, is the heart of the matter.

It can be different things.  People expect us to help them, understand them, serve them, let them be, defend them, talk to them, ignore them, maybe even love them.

People expect us to do what they want.  To bring about what they want to happen.

 

What people expect from themselves

Here’s a little secret – what people expect from other people, is what they really expect from themselves.

And through a variety of circumstances and situations, they feel, believe, that they are not able to give it to themselves, to fulfill their own expectations.

So people who expect kindness, compassion, and understanding, from you, are actually seeking those same qualities from themselves.

And people who are sharing and freely giving kindness, compassion, and understanding, have matured in their understanding of expectations.

They have learned that in order to be treated that way, you have to be willing to treat others the same way.

Do you expect the very best from people?

What are you then doing to become the very best version of yourself?

It’s unrealistic to have unsaid expectations, and have them fulfilled.

How do you communicate your expectations?  You don’t just say them, you show, you do them.

You teach people how to behave, how to treat you.

What people expect from you is what they really expect from themselves.

As the old adage goes: “You can’t please everybody.”

But what the adage wants to say, but doesn’t say outright is:

“You’ve got to please yourself first.”

 

In your experience, what do people really expect from you?  Please share in the comments below!