“I just can’t do it.”
“I haven’t learned how to do it yet.”
“Can I really do this?”
Have you ever said these things to yourself? I know I have, countless times.
We can all be coming from different places and experiences, yet the feeling that grips us is one and the same.
Self-Doubt. Insecurity. Lack of confidence. Maybe even low self-esteem.
We’ve had such a hard time doing anything, and compare ourselves to others who are doing so well or born natural talent. And we think to ourselves:
“How can I reach that?”
“How can I even begin to come close? I can’t…”
Or how about this? :
“It takes too much work! I can’t do that…”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m not so sure, will it even succeed?”
Those are some of the masks self-doubt and insecurity wear.
Self-Doubt can masquerade, and hide itself as many other different emotions. It’s up to us to rip that mask off,
Then, and only then, do we begin to overcome the self-doubt and insecurity.
Get some regular physical activity
Scientific studies have shown that regular physical activity is not only good for the body, it’s also good for the mind. Exercise gets our bodies making and releasing endorphins, which is a natural feel-good chemical. And yes, I’d like to think if you feel good, then that would help up your confidence, and overcome self-doubt.
Great activities also include stretching, and yoga. It also helps to stretch your body first thing in the morning when you wake up. Slowly, your body and mind become more flexible.
Also, the discipline you develop to sticking and doing an exercise or activity schedule, will help you stay true in the moment to just blasting past your self-doubt, and doing what really matters to you.
Get away from negative people who put you down
Choose the people you interact with on a daily, on a moment-by-moment basis. As much as you can. Get away from people who don’t support you, who drain you, and who leave you with a deflated, low-confidence feeling.
And please don’t confuse this with people who give you honest, but painful, feedback. Even great, helpful, and constructive feedback can be delivered brutally, but there’s truth there that will help you get better.
It’s in the intention. Does this person want to help me? Or does this person want to help me because it will make them seem like a helpful person? Or do they want anything from me? Do they have an ulterior motive?
Get away from negative people. Souls need to be nourished, not sucked away.
Focus on what you can do in the moment.
And take note, that’s do, not do perfectly.
Before I go out to speak to people, or to facilitate a workshop for a group, I always get this intense feeling of anxiety, that and I hear myself say: “What if I’m not good enough?” or “I feel like an impostor, and what if they say the same thing?”
And all that vanishes the moment I step out on stage, say my first word, and focus on the task at hand. Yes, my openings are not that perfect, but what mattered was I took and did the first step.
It’s so easy to worry, be afraid, and feel like we can’t do it. No better solution to that than to do the first step, and keep on going until you get to your goal.
Nobody’s perfect. Have a beginner’s mind.
Tell yourself affirmations frequently during the day
Pick out a statement that gives you power, or one that you would like to believe. Make sure it speaks to you ad it’s an empowering statement.
Some examples include:
“I can do this!”
“I love myself.”
“I’ll bring out the best!”
“I’m confident and calm.”
And find a way to say this statement to yourself several times a day. Make reminders and posters, and post it in areas you would see often. By the bed, in your office workstation, maybe even make it your wallpaper for your phone or computer.
Adjust your environment
Plants don’t bear fruit unless they are taken care of and are grown in the right conditions. Neither do we.
Put up a lot of reminders, positive statements, messages, and affirmations in the places you frequent. Put it in places you look at often, including your computer and cellphone screens.
Find out what works for you, and change what you can in your environment. Open windows, more nature, a desk plant, or taking a walk in the park helps. Whatever is helping you feel better, and be more confident.
This also includes the people you keep in your vicinity, not just the people you choose to interact with.
Also, find a quiet place for you to collect your thoughts and recharge.
Recall and go back to affirming letters, feedback, about you and work you have done, no matter how small they are
No one in this world is a complete failure, and we must have either evidence and memories of the good, no matter how small, that we’ve done to others, and maybe even to ourselves.
Revisit these moments, these small wins and successes that you have already experienced and felt. Allow those memories and feelings to empower you, and to charge you.
You’ve done good before, surely you’re able to do it again. The self-doubt and fear come from places where we focus on negative things. Confidence, and power, come from places where we focus on positive things.
Look for ways to be grateful for what you have, and the things you have been allowed, or led, by the universe to do
And cultivating an attitude and feeling of being grateful and thankful is one powerful way of focusing on what’s positive, and what’s right. Even more specifically, what’s going on that’s right in my life right now.
If you’re still reading this, then I’d like to think that you’re still alive. Acknowledge that, and be thankful for that.
Self-doubt and low confidence robs generosity and thankfulness of their power. No matter how small, being thankful, and acknowledging what’s right in your life, gets you focusing on the positive things, which then get you thinking about positive possibilities.
At the very least, be thankful that you’re alive, and that you can click another link to surf away from this article. Maybe to something with a little more action.
Prepare. Prepare the best that you can. Then do the first step.
One way to beat self-doubt, is to pour and focus your energies into preparing the best you can.
Learning the skills needed, asking mentors for their tips and experiences, doing research on what has been done before, studying up, taking a course, and all that. There are a ton of ways to prepare.
And most of the time, after we have spent so much time preparing, is when the self-doubt and insecurities kick in.
“what if this doesn’t work?”
“I’m not so sure right now…”
“I don’t want to fail!”
Whoa! You’re thinking too far ahead!
Just take the first step.
And then the next,
and then the next.
You may never eliminate all the self-doubt you have inside of you.
But you sure can overcome it.
And get to doing great things.
What have you done to overcome self-doubt and insecurity? Please share in the comments below!