Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always regarded one of my strengths to be my ability to pick apart a situation, or an object, and diagnose what’s the problem with it, and come up with solutions to either improve it, or bring it back to what it once was. I hadn’t thought that my strength could become a weakness.
I was proud of that ability, but ever since I was a kid, I also realized that there were times that strength of mine would land me in hot water, and create trouble not only for me, but for others as well.
Instead of pushing me forward, it holds me back, and others as well.
What are the most common mistakes we’re making that turn our strengths into weaknesses?
When we don’t know what our strengths are.
Because what we don’t know and what we’re not aware of, we don’t actively use, and we don’t have any active control over.
When we don’t know what we’re good at, when we doubt and are uncertain on what comes naturally for us, we won’t be able to consistently and reliably use our talents and strengths to achieve what we want.
Back when I wasn’t sure that diagnosing situations and coming up with solutions was a talent of mine, I would have no confidence in my ability to do that. I would second guess the thoughts, ideas, and solutions that would automatically spring into my head.
And since I didn’t know that was a strength, I could not manifest it reliably and productively at the times when I needed them. I just rode my feelings at that particular time.
That’s why when there were situations before when I didn’t come up with solutions, I would feel frustrated. When I wasn’t part of a problem-solving team, or part of a committee to fix something, I would feel sad.
Because I didn’t know.
I wasn’t using my strengths.
When we don’t know what our strengths are, it can be easy for us to miss it, and not apply it, and wonder at the fact why we feel unfulfilled and unhappy, not being able to do something that comes natural for us, and can have a positive effect.
Also, not knowing our strengths can lead to a lot of trial and error, and a lot of time that could’ve been more effectively used.
When we don’t invest in them.
And by that, I mean when we don’t actively, deliberately, invest time, effort, and resources, into growing, developing, and applying our strengths.
Even though talent comes naturally for you, to consistently, reliably, and confidently use your talents and strengths, you’ve got to put in the practice and effort to develop.
Like successful and gifted athletes. They had the talent to begin with, but then they also poured in hours and hours of practice, and invested so much time, resources, and focus into practicing, and mastering the different skills and talents in order to be successful in their field.
Same with any work, task, or skill, actually.
So for that particular strength of mine, which involved diagnosing situations and coming up with solutions, as a kid, I got to develop and invest in that strength by always trying to solve puzzles and riddles.
And I enjoyed it, and as I got better and better at solving puzzles, the more confident I became in my ability. Which then translated into bigger and more complicated situations.
Which, due to the practice and investment in that strength, I can confidently count on to help me solve those situations.
When we misapply them.
Just because we’re using our strengths, doesn’t mean we’re using them effectively and productively.
And our strengths, when misapplied, can become the very weaknesses that hold us back the greatest.
In my case, not all situations have a problem that needs fixing, and not all situations have people willing to listen and make changes. There may not even be a problem in the first place!
So one way that I misapply that particular strength of mine, is to see situations and things as problems, and to easily spot what can be fixed, changed and improved in them. I focused too much on the negative, and on what’s wrong in the situation, instead of the many other things going right and working.
In doing that, I hurt other people when I focus on the negatives, when they are perfectly happy with that situation. There was no problem there – only I was looking at things as if they were problems.
We misapply our strengths when we overuse them. When we do too much of them that it’s not healthy anymore. When we hurt ourselves or others when we use them.
We also misapply our strengths when we focus on ourselves too much. When we have no productive outward action aimed at affecting our environment and surroundings, and even other people, in a positive and healthy manner.
To do that, we have to know what our strengths are, accept them for what they are, and invest in them to grow, develop, and apply them productively.
There is no one right way to do this.
But you’ll know when it’s right.
Keep using strengths as strengths.
And not turn our strengths into weaknesses.
Know what your strengths are, and know about them.
Invest time, effort, energy, into developing and growing your strengths.
And be aware not to misapply them. Use them productively, and for good, instead of wastefully, and to create negative consequences. Not just for yourself, but for others as well.
Also, to know more about your strengths, you can check out the website of the Clifton Strengthsfinder here, or you can send me an email here.
Don’t let your strengths become your weaknesses.
Do continue to invest in and develop your strengths.
Have you ever experienced a strength of yours holding you back? Please share in the comments below!
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