Get Out Of Your Head - Coach Lippy

Back in high school, I remember a moment when I was asked to catch the ball, and then throw it immediately to the next person.

I was so concerned with how I was going to catch the ball, then throw it, to who, and a lot other details.

Then, the ball came sailing my way.

And hit me squarely on my face.

I was too much “in my head” to even do any of what I planned. What does that mean?

I was helping facilitate a team building session for a company last weekend, and there were times when I felt doubt, insecurity, and was focused on what I was going to say, that I forgot to be in the moment, that I forgot about having a conversation with the participants, being in the moment, and was totally in my head, in my thoughts, figuring out what I was going to say next.

Another “in my head” moment.

In My Head

Have you ever been in a moment of doing, or observing, of activity, and yet you find yourself speaking to yourself? Thinking thoughts? Which can be related or not related to the activity at hand?

That’s being in your head.

It pulls you away from being in the moment, the situation, the performance, the connection with others, and focuses on the internal dialogues going on inside of you.

You start to talk to yourself, analyze, and break down the situation, instead of being an active participant in it.

There’s a time for reflection and evaluation, and there’s a time to just be present, where you are right now.

We’re thinking too much. Thinking too much, instead of being in the moment.

What makes us retreat back inside our heads?

Doubt

We begin to overthink, and retreat into our heads, when we doubt.

The first time I had to speak in front of a big group, I was so filled with doubt that I would be able to do well. I kept thinking and thinking to myself the different ways how I’d be able to do it, and that I kept on thinking how to say the things I needed to say.

All while speaking in front of the group, already.

In the moment, the thoughts of doubt serve you no purpose, only to distract you and to pull you away.

Fear

When we’re afraid, one tendency is to overthink, to back out of the situation, and back into the mind.

In our minds, we have more control over what happens, and how we present ourselves. Not so in real life.

Whatever it is we’re afraid of, that fear can push us to retreat, to escape back into relative safety and comfort.

Because we feel the chance of failing and getting hurt is greater than the chance of succeeding.

Or that we fear other people’s judgments of us, and that could be a reflection of our absolute ability and potential.

Fear has no space in our lives, and we should be taking steps to overcome them. Keep taking steps forward.

Being Unprepared

When we’re unprepared, we hesitate, and lack the focus and practice necessary to deliver our best. This often results in a lot of overthinking because we haven’t mastered the content that we’re supposed to deliver. Or we’re not a master of what we have to do.

Ever had an experience of having to share or do something you don’t completely know? Where you have to just jump in, and then have to wing it as you go along?

But when you have to deliver content, when you have to be an expert, or knowledgeable in a certain subject, being unprepared is just a one-way trip to awkwardness, and overthinking.

And people can sense that too. They can tell when you’re thinking too much about it.

They can tell when you’re not focusing on them, and on the conversation.

Disinterest

When we couldn’t care less, our mind tends to wander to areas of interest, and in an effort to entertain ourselves, we disconnect form the moment, and go into our little head.

It’s more fun there, especially when we feel the moment is boring.

Sometimes, the feelings of disinterest we have mask different feelings. Feelings of fear, anxiety, inadequacy, and doubt.

We say that we’re not interested, but in reality we are. We’re just afraid of being rejected. Afraid of failing. Afraid of being judged and looking like a fool.