Intentional change doesn’t happen overnight, though it may feel like such.
It’s a process. There are steps, and there are obstacles to overcome.
Yet, change is necessary if we want to achieve what we want. We never improve by being still, and by doing nothing.
And with change comes fear. The number one obstacle why people don’t get moving towards what they want, what they dream about.
They’re afraid of change.
What is it about change that we’re really afraid of?
It’s a big change. Huge change.
We’re afraid of how big the change is, compared to what we’re used to now.
It’s like going from 0 to 60 in a step. Comparing what we have now, versus the end result.
Now, that’s great if it motivates, but more often, it can paralyze us, by showing us how far a gap we have to reach the destination.
Like going from being fully employed, to being jobless, to setting up your own company. Heck, even going from fully employed to setting up your own company in one big step seems so daunting.
And that’s what we fear.
We fear the scale of the change, the speed of the change, and not the change itself.
Realizing what needs to be done to accomplish the change.
Apart from the large gap between now and the end result change you want, fear can come in the form of realizing and recognizing what needs to be done.
Because not everything that needs to be done, is something we like.
It’s not easy. It’s not comfortable.
It can be downright hard, and full of suffering.
We can be afraid of what needs to be done, and of doing it.
Especially when it involves conflict. Most especially emotional conflict.
When it concerns loss and letting go. Most especially of what’s comfortable.
When it concerns humility and pride. Most especially of letting go of what we know to be right.
Imagining failing to achieve the change you want.
It’s the fear of failure.
What does failure really do to us?
If we fail, we’ll be losers. We’ll be second-rate. We’d have proved to ourselves that we can’t do it.
We’d be shamed in the face of our peers and loved ones. We would be forever labeled as “failures”.
Of course that’s not really true.
All failure ever does is show us what doesn’t work.
Then, it’s up to us to learn from the experience, and start again.
If we still want to. Failure gives us a chance to exercise our resiliency muscles.
It’s painful. It can make us suffer. But nothing more.
It is, what it is.
Imagining succeeding to achieve the change you want.
Because we can be unprepared to succeed, and to actually get what we want.
This can be coming from two places.
First, because we’ve become comfortable where we are right now.
Whether it’s just wanting what we want, or trying to get what we want.
We’ve become comfortable with NOT getting it. Just spinning our wheels in the hopes of the result falling on our laps, yet us sabotaging ourselves and not taking advantage of opportunities to succeed.
Second, because we don’t know how to handle success.
We fear what we don’t know, and while we may want the change, we may be unprepared for how the change will affect us, and our lives.
It’s beyond our comfort zone, it’s what we don’t know.
And that can be scary.
Taking the first step towards change.
This is scary because the first step isn’t just the first step for a lot of us.
It’s like staring down the edge of a cliff. And the first step forward is what sends us over.
It’s not really the change that we are afraid of.
It’s commitment. We’re afraid of being pushed off the cliff, and having to commit to seeing this through.
We’ve become comfortable with always having an easy way out.
But a lot of successful people share stories of rock bottom, and situations where they have no choice but to succeed, or die miserably.
It doesn’t have to be that hard.
Take the first step, and stay consistent.
Not seeing results.
We’re afraid of taking steps and of change, because we’re afraid, nothing will happen.
That we just worked our assess off, with nothing to show for it.
We’re already afraid of failing, of the result that could be, without even taking steps forward.
Or, we can be fearful actually seeing small results, and then hitting a plateau.
It’s still fear of failure, of what could happen.
And that fear, prevents us from giving it our all in the crucial time and place that would have the most influence on the results that we get.
That’s right now.
Having your life the same way it is now if change doesn’t happen.
This is the fear that gets us through all of those previously listed, and gets us to taking action and following through.
We can be afraid of failing, of making those first steps, of the huge change ahead of us.
But if we’re more afraid if we don’t do anything, and still stay the same.
Then that gets us moving. Fear of staying in the sucky place we’re stuck in right now.
That’s why most change comes from situations where we hit rock bottom.
We just don’t want to be there again. Never again.
So get moving.
It’s not the change we fear.
It’s all in our head, all in our imaginations and thoughts.
It’s fear itself.
What is it that are afraid of, exactly? Please share in the comments below!
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