Ever had a moment when people told you your breath smells, but to you, it smells perfectly fine? That’s an example of internal blindness.
I’ve always found it easy to find fault on other people, and to comment on their strengths and shortcomings, but find it hard to do it for myself.
That’s internal blindness. The evidence can be screaming at you in the face, but if with this trait of people, we fail to recognize the truth.
The truth that hurts.
What can we do to avoid internal blindness?
Listen
And I mean, truly listen.
Not just to listen to reply, or to listen to come up with a rebuttal.
And it’s totally another thing, yet truly effective, to get what a person is saying, and feeling, all the while, being sensitive to what a person really wants to say, and is not saying, but find important.
And the same goes for us as well. For our own internal dialogue, and listening.
When we take the effort and commitment to truly listen, and be open to what we’re taking in, experiencing, and understanding, then our internal blindness goes away, because we’re considering what we haven’t heard of, or haven’t even thought was possible.
Even if it’s something about us.
Especially if it’s something about us.
Be open to being wrong
Nobody wants to be wrong. I surely don’t. Yet that precious pride of mine that doesn’t want to be proven wrong, has gotten me in so much trouble, and has not helped me to become a more effective person.
What I’ve realized over the years, is that I can be right, and you can be right, both at the same time. With no one right-er than the other. We’re both right, and yet, why do I find myself insisting that I’m right, and that you’re less right?
Which in turn, elicits the same reaction from you, creating an argument, where we’re both right, yet we both refuse to acknowledge it.
Yet, there are times, for our best interest, where we’re open to being wrong. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Maybe just the end of our pride. That’s something we can definitely do away with.
If we’re open to being wrong, and to other people being right, then we can avoid internal blindness, because we’re not locked in to our own viewpoints and opinions.
We become open to other people’s views and opinions, which may be right.
Be self-confident
One reason why we have internal blindness is because we are not self-confident.
Of course, if we’re too self-confident, we can be blind to our own shortcomings and misgivings as well, but it’s really a lack of self-confidence as well which makes us blind to our own feelings, thoughts, and in turn, to other people feelings and thoughts as well.
Because I wasn’t self-confident, I wasn’t able to face the reality, and accept what other people were telling me to be true. I didn’t even want to consider it, because a lot of confidence and pride was riding on me being right, and perfect, and infallible.
There will always be room to improve, and there will always be people who will have a negative opinion of you. You can’t please everyone.
But are you happy with yourself? Are you confident in who you are, and what you can do, and why you do them?
Confidence dispels blindness, especially if the blindness is caused by our choice not to see.
Recognize feedback for what it is.
Because feedback is feedback. No more, no less.
But when I start hearing feedback, the first thought to my untrained and selfish mind, is to defend myself.
And prove the feedback-giver wrong.
But how wrong I was.
How what they say affects me, is my choice. I always have a choice.
Take what will help you, and will remove the curtain of your internal blindness.
Regain your sight
Because I find that I’m good at finding fault, and good, with what I see outside of me, but have a hard time seeing those inside of me.
Have the humility and openness to see what’s there.
Don’t be blind to what’s happening inside of you.
Because that’s the key to making great things happen, outside of you.
What’s something you’ve been afraid to accept? Please share in the comments below!
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