I was shocked to find out, for myself, what was really stopping me.
And I mean, what was really, really, preventing me from achieving my biggest dreams and goals.
It took me quite some time to begin public speaking, writing and sharing ideas, and performing in front of audiences.
And I’m sure, what was stopping me, is what’s stopping you too.
In my case, it was me.
In your case, it’s you. It’s all you.
But, wait a minute!
Then, when I realized that, my mind and body went into high gear, and the voices in my head sprang up, with all sorts of reasons and rationalization. All of which sounded really legitimate and plausible:
“But I’m really busy, and don’t have the time. I have a family/kid/school/day job/overtime/sucky boss/etc..”
“I’m still doing research on what’s the best next step to take!”
“I’ll get around to it eventually. I can start tomorrow, I’ve just been really busy.”
“I don’t know what to do next. I’ll go find out.”
or what about my favorite: “I’m still working at gaining more confidence, so I can make the jump.”
What about you? What reasons were your mind and body saying when the proverbial finger was pointed at you?
That’s the number one way you stop yourself.
It’s not that you resist starting, or that you resist going for your dreams.
Oh… Wait, you do.
Because the struggle, the challenge, breaking through your own barriers, doing what it takes to get the job done – these are all inherent and important parts of the journey to your dreams, and yet, you resist going through these.
If it’s hard, you think that it’s not for you. I know I did.
But it’s just a test to see how much you really want it.
There’s resistance inside of you. It’s coming from you, not from another person, and not from the environment.
We allow ourselves to resist, to come up with reasons, and rationalizations. Whatever they are, the fact remains that you didn’t do what it took to go through them and get things done. That’s why you’re stuck, with little to show for it. Or with the results not to your liking.
In my culture we have a saying, loosely translated: “If you do want it, you’ll always find a way. If you don’t want it, you’ll always find an excuse.”
And in your case, and mine, resistance comes in the form of excuses.
If there’s a will, there’s a way.
Unless the will is weak. Not yet strong enough to overcome resistance.
In what ways do we resist?
There are several ways we turn to to resist. A lot of it has to do with instant gratification, and defense. We want to feel good in the now, and we want to protect our self-concept, our identity, and what we have grown comfortable with.
And that’s dangerous. It’s a one-way ticket to stagnation.
One way we resist is to be lazy. And allowing ourselves to be lazy. Goals and dreams don’t care about how you feel at any given moment. All they care about is are you putting in the work to make them a reality?
And also, being lazy can be an indicator of something deeper, like lack of enthusiasm, frustration, despair, and even fear.
We also fall in love with the idea, and the result. This does not necessarily mean we really want to reach our goal. It just becomes a wish, daydream-candy, with no real process, system, commitment, effort, and perseverance to make it come true.
When I started this blog, I wanted it to end up super nice, and popular, making an impact on people’s lives. And as of now, me writing this article, I’m nowhere near that. If I just wanted the result, I would’ve given up in frustration, citing a dozen reasons, and maybe put up a new blog elsewhere.
Instead, I trust the process, at the same time learning and trying new things. I’m looking to help people build freedom in their lives, one article, one email, one obstacle at a time.
We give ourself negative self-talk. This turns up at important points, times when we’re trying something new, or when we feel the task at hand is important. Sometimes, inordinately so.
We tell ourselves of the imminent failure to come, as if it’s a sure thing. We tell ourselves of the difficulty of the task at hand, and how ill-equipped we are to overcome said task.
Even in our mindset and beliefs, we always have a choice, and telling ourselves positive self-talk instead, is a way to counter negative self-talk, which comes from our limiting and negative mindsets and beliefs.
Don’t stop yourself.
Instead, look for ways to be free from the chains that you attach to yourself, your abilities, your vision, and your mind.
Begin to take action, and be aware and mindful of your feelings and thoughts. What are they telling you? Is it necessarily true?
Make it a habit to keep on going, and power through your resistance.
Wow. Maybe that’s where the phrase “Do one thing that scares you, everyday” comes from.
It’s to overcome resistance.
Don’t stop yourself.
How have you overcome resistance? Please share in the comments below!