Because there are things, no matter what I tell myself, and how important it is for the people that I hold dear, I don’t want to do.
It’s deeper. Deeper than that.
It’s not a simple inconvenience, when your body and mind is screaming “NO!”
What happens to you when you do things that you don’t want?
Resentment
Because even though you’re doing it, or have done it, there’s still a bad taste in you mouth.
On how you got to doing it, even when you didn’t want to. How you spent time, and your life, to do this something that maybe, wasn’t all that important for you.
That’s time, energy, and resources that you’ll never get back.
And I resent that. I resent having said yes, or having not said anything at all, when I really shouldn’t have said no.
I resent other people, for pushing these things onto me.
Most of all, the resentment is aimed at myself, for realizing that I always had a choice, and not exercising my right and power to make that choice.
The choice to say yes to myself.
Misalignment
Because you’re doing something that’s not important to you, and may not contribute to your long-term dreams and goals, you experience misalignment.
And you may think that it’s a small thing, but when you’re just getting started, it’s easy to get derailed and lose momentum.
This is why people don’t achieve their dreams, or even get started on them in the first place.
You start out small, take steps, then get pulled to doing something else, sacrificing precious time, energy, and resources to do something that’s not in alignment with where you want to go.
Then when the dust clears, you try to get back, then get derailed, get back, again, and again.
Then, you suddenly realize, after time has passed, that you haven’t gotten any closer to your dreams. That’s the danger of misalignment.
When you think you’re busy moving forward, but then realizing that the things that you’ve been doing don’t count.
Missed Expectations
When was the last time you had to perform at a high level, but really didn’t want what you were doing?
That’s exceedingly rare. Because people usually like what they’re doing when they do it at a high level.
But what if it’s for the wrong reasons? Or when the timing is wrong? When you should be somewhere else, instead of here?
When that happens, I realize that I’m not a 100%. I’m not as open, as generous, as creative and flexible. There are times when I just want to get it done! And in turn, lose respect for the process, the result, and the people.
And it may seem like all the expectations have been fulfilled, but there’ll be a gnawing feeling in the pit of people’s stomachs.
Most of all, there’ll be that feeling in yourself. The feeling that you could be doing better, should be doing better, but you’re not.
That’s dangerous. This experience teaches you to cut corners, and to dishonor your craft and your own process.
The minute you say to yourself that it’s ok not to give your all, is the minute you settle for mediocrity, and let go of excellence and purpose.
Helplessness
Because why are you doing something that you don’t want to do, in the first place?
Going through with it, and then feeling the resentment, misalignment, and ending up with missed expectations, can be avoided.
Say No.
You always have a choice.
Telling, thinking, and doing what “I have no choice” tells me, just feeds and leads to helplessness.
You always have the power too choose, and if you already said yes, but realize that it shouldn’t been no, then find a way to say no.
Honor yourself as well, and learn to let go of helplessness.
Don’t do it.
Because life is short enough as it is, and it’s too short to be living without a purpose, without a dream.
It may not look the same for everyone, and that’s alright. What’s important is for yourself, are you doing that things that you want?
Are you saying yes to yourself?
Do what you want.
How do you say “No” to those you don’t want? Please share in the comments below!
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