You think you’re being perfectly honest with yourself.
But, you’re not.
Well, not completely.
But you fib to yourself, here and there.
And that gets us disastrous results.
Are you lying to yourself?
Why can’t you be completely honest to yourself?
That’s the reason why you can’t be completely honest with yourself.
The truth hurts.
You’d rather stay safe in what you know, what you prefer to see and experience, rather than facing the whole truth of what’s out there.
Or what’s inside of you.
We, as humans, have evolved to avoid pain. In the same way that we have evolved to love pleasure.
And through our experiences growing up, we get programmed, by our parenting, environment, and accidents (everything that happens to us), to associate certain things with pain, and certain things with pleasure.
And it’s not always for our benefit, in the long-term.
I didn’t want to get hurt. So I spent 2 years doing nothing, because I was so afraid to put myself out there again.
I felt safe, comfortable, and OK.
Until, I realized that I wasn’t.
The sooner you face the truth, the sooner you can make your reality the way you want it to be.
And the sooner we realize what brings us pain, pleasure, and which of those are lies, the sooner we begin to move forward at a faster pace.
The sooner we become completely honest with ourselves, and start living free.
Pride and ego
Our pride and ego prevents us from seeing the truth.
From hearing the truth, and accepting it as true.
“How can that be?!”
“I’m better than this! It’s because of…”
“That’s not me, it’s them!”
Ad all the other versions of the same statement.
That I can’t accept I flubbed up, or that I am capable of flubbing up, so it must be something else.
As if all the success rides on your shoulders.
You are not God.
That’s we we lie to ourselves, we fib, and we tell incomplete truths and accept imprecise realities, because we want to feel whole, perfect, and made up, as dictated by our ego and pride.
We don’t want to damage the beliefs we have about ourselves, and the world. And so, we choose to deny, rationalize, defend, and look away.
All to preserve our concept of who we are, and what we are capable of. Especially when a large part of our self-esteem is riding on those beliefs.
But that’s limiting.
The sooner you break down the false truths you believe in, the sooner you move forward, and create empowering truths based on factual, actual, and reality.
You only get better, stronger, wiser, when you believe that you still have so much to learn, do, grow, and improve.
We lie to ourselves because of our pride.
We lie to ourselves because of our ego.
Growing up, My mother always told me: “Don’t talk to strangers.”
Surprise, surprise, my day job now consists of me having to talk to strangers. Every. Single. Day.
At first, I was so fearful. I was so afraid of talking to people I didn’t know.
Because I was afraid of them.
Looking back, I was afraid of all the little things I would tell myself, because I was afraid.
Things that would further strengthen the fear, and force me to look for safety and comfort.
Even when I knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do.
I was afraid of so many things, and because of them, I was lying to myself.
So that I wouldn’t face them.
So that I’d avoid them.
So that I wouldn’t have to deal with them.
But fears are like wounds. They start of small, but if you don’t treat them, they get infected, grow larger, spread, and eventually, take you down.
Accept the fear, so you can take steps to treat it, and go through it.
Accept the fact that you’re afraid. Tell yourself the truth, and things begin to be easier from that point on.
It all begins with us
Our reality is shaped by our experiences, and our interpretations.
What we tell ourselves, eventually comes true.
And if all we do is lie to ourselves, eventually, those become true as well.
Even if we don’t want them to happen.
Even if we’re afraid.
If you can’t be honest with yourself, that also makes it difficult to be honest with others.
It’s not only about outside appearances.
It’s also about what’s within us.
What is real?
What did you do to be more honest with yourself? Please share in the comments, and let me know!