How To Live Life With No Regrets

Last Tuesday, I woke up and found out a friend of mine was just shot in the head.

The truth isn’t clear yet.  But it seems he was in the act of trying to stop a crime.

24 years old, gone too soon.  Another reminder of the fragility of life, and the sacredness of every moment we spend with each other.

There will never be another like you, Em-J.

Another reminder of the value of time, and how you could be spending time making life beautiful for others, and not just for yourself.

These tips are a reminder from you, friend.

A reminder from the little time we spent together.

A reminder how you lived your life with no regrets.

 

Live life in the moment.

Every time I saw Em-J, he was always engrossed in what he was doing.

He had an intense focus on the task at hand.  Whether he was playing cards, basketball, teaching, or contemplating about life, and what he was going to do after college, he was really focused on the moment.

He gave it his all.

I never did see him stuck or paralyzed by over-analysis and by thinking too far ahead into the future.

Where you are now, is where you are now.  Either you stay stuck, yearning for the future but not doing anything, or you take action now, to move forward into the future you wish.

Be in the moment.  Act in the moment.

Live life in the now.

 

Live life as you are.

Em-J was just so comfortable being who he was, and just being himself around all sorts of people.

He didn’t try to hide it.  He just embraced who he was, what he liked, disliked, believed, and had faith in.

He loved playing sports, and played a lot of basketball, and frisbee too.  He even got injured, and made great effort to recover, and get back on the court.

He also loved playing cards.  That was how I got to know him.  Thank Magic: The Gathering for that.

I remember playing games against him.  He was just so focused, and played great games.

He also had a lot of fun, and wanted people playing with him to have fun as well.  It was just so natural for him to light up a place, and crack jokes and put a positive spin on things.

He also took losing well.  I remember seeing him lose games, and after those losses, you’d think he was the champion still.  He lost gracefully.

He wore his heart on his sleeve.  He didn’t restrain himself, yet he wasn’t out of control either.  There was a confident, yet humble, acceptance and genuineness to him.

He was just Em-J, being Em-J.  All around athletic nerdy goofy good guy.

And people loved him for that.  He was who he was.

That takes great courage, patience, acceptance, humility, and love.

 

Live life with a purpose.

I also remembered asking him what he wanted to do after graduating.

I could sense a hesitation to share.  Yet a certainty beneath the hesitation.

He just wasn’t sure how I would take it.  How I would react to his answer.  One of the few times I saw Em-J with that reaction.

He said:  “I want to be a Math Teacher in High School.”

BAM!  That answer floored me.

Because it wasn’t what I expected from someone like him, with all his abilities and talents.

How wrong I was.

And out of college, I see him sometimes, and hear secondhand news from my friends who happen to be his colleagues as well, telling me how great a job he was doing, and how great of a guy he was.

How engrossed and giving he was in being a High School Math Teacher.

How he used his talents and abilities to do the best of what he could possibly do.

Thanks, Em-J, for teaching me that lesson in humility one rainy afternoon, over cards, at a time when I was unsure of my purpose.

And thank you, for living your life with purpose, and by giving it your all to be the best darned teacher you could be.

 

Live life by being generous.

And now, as the news of your passing slowly spreads, and people you have touched come to know of your passing, more and more stories of you are being shared.

Simple stories of how your life intermingled with theirs.  How you have come to touch other’s lives.

And it astounds me how generous you lived your life.

How generous you were with your time, talents, effort, and positivity.

And how generous you were with your life, to dedicate it to forming and molding the character and lives of the students, and every other person, you interact with.

I am astounded by people sharing their simple stories of being with you.  And after reading some, I realized:

That’s how generous you were.

That’s how generous you are.

Simple, yet profound.  Not being stingy with your talents and strengths.  Not staying doubtful and hidden under your shadows.

Always encouraging, always positive.

Always with a purpose.

I’m not sure if you had any doubts about that purpose.  But you sure handled them well.

When in doubt, stay the course.

 

Live life with gratitude.

It also impressed me how you lived a life full of gratitude.  That your being a teacher was one way of giving back to the people who have helped you become who you were.

That life is a gift, and that we should spend that gift fulfilling our purpose, and being more of who we are, instead of who we are not.

And as with any gift, one of the best ways to show gratitude, is to use that gift to help others.  To pass it along, and make the world a better place for all of us.

Now, people are thanking you for making an impact on their lives.  I hope they all reach you.

Until your last moment Em-J, you gave it your all.

Thanks for the friendship, thanks for the memories.

Thanks for showing us how to live life with no regrets.