How You Deal With This Determines Your Success

And as I write this, again I am reminded that dealing with this, going through this, is what can determine my success.

How to manage, and overcome this sensation, this feeling.

Maybe even learn to be comfortable in it, and accept it.

How you deal with this determines your success.

 

It’s Suffering.

I remember the training montages of all the movies where the hero has to train, and undergo hardship and suffering.  And the lessons learned from that training period becomes the foundation of the hero’s success.

Or it’s the hero bouncing back from some painful tragedy in the middle of the movie, to triumph over evil, and win in the end.

They learn to deal with difficult irritations and situations that can unbalance and affect their performance in the crucial moment.

As Navy SEALs say, people don’t rise to the occasion.

They sink to their level of training.

They get better at handling the unexpected.

It’s hardship.  It’s suffering.  What they learn from it.  And how they deal with it.

And suffering, offers an opportunity to us on how to overcome suffering.

 

Enlarges our capacity to deal with life.

Or rather, what life throws at us, and the unforeseen curve balls and situations that come our way.

If you think about it, it’s like exercise.

Exercise is also a good way to overcome more suffering, by subjecting ourselves to – suffering!

It’s by subjecting ourselves to heavier and heavier weights, more reps, and an increasing level of difficulty, that we develop the bodies, techniques, and resilience to lift more, do more, and make what was once hard for us, easier.

Dealing with suffering, allows us to develop the capability to handle increasing levels of suffering, and at the same time, deal with less suffering situations more easily.

And by suffering, I don’t mean torture-like situations.  It can even be something as simple as not having hot water when you take a shower in the morning, or you stepping on dog poop on the sidewalk.  Those little things that can annoy and anger us.

But if we’re able to deal with suffering, those little things, those little situations, become easier for us to handle.  You’re not as irritable anymore.  You don’t get angry right away.  You look for solutions and how to make it better, rather than just cursing your own luck and looking for somebody to blame.

 

All obstacles are a form of suffering.

Because, they stop us from getting what we want.

From doing what we feel is right.

From living the life we dream of.

And that tension inside of us of wanting, and not being able to get it, is a form of suffering.

We’re suffering from our inability to be unstuck, to be free, and taking steps to make what we want into a reality for us.

It sucks to be stuck.  It sucks to be in that position.

That’s why we look for escapes.  What would make us feel better, so I won’t have to feel this pain, or deal with the suffering I’m in, right now.

 

Even what feels good can be suffering.

Because then we can be finding ways to feel good, but not really finding ways to break through our suffering.

We’re just delaying the inevitable, and not taking meaningful action that can change reality as it is going to happen.

We’re not going to make a meaningful impact on our lives.  We’re just spinning our wheels, finding ways to feel good, but getting nowhere.

That’s suffering.  Sounds like suffering to me.

 

Even not knowing what we want is suffering.

Ambiguity, uncertainty, and the feelings that come with it, being in it, and facing it, is

It’s like being stuck in limbo.  Being in one place, and not moving, despite the want to move forward.

 

But it’s OK.

Feeling all these feelings, and going through these situation, it’s OK.

Suffering from all the ambiguity, weakness, irritation, lack of capability.  It’s all OK.

It’s OK not to be perfect.  It’s OK to be in these situations.  It’s OK not to know.

They’re there to teach us how to handle them.  How to move forward.

It’s like a subject at school.  You don’t advance to the next subject without dealing with more basic subjects first.

One step at a time.  One hurdle at a time.  One suffering at a time.

One aspect, one part of a suffering at a time.  Until you get to facing the whole thing.

Until you move forward completely.

But until then, and even after, one step at a time.

Because of, in spite of, and learning from, suffering.

And the better, more courageous, more forgiving we are with ourselves, the better we can deal with suffering.

 

How do you deal with suffering situations?  Please share in the comments below!