I’m alright. I’ve got nothing to fear.
I’ve got work, family, a roof over my head, and 3 square meals a day. I get to watch my favorite shows, surf the internet, and maybe, give back to my charity of choice.
The mind is powerful. It can come up with a million reasons why we do the things we do.
And it can do the same to avoid facing the things we should be facing.
How does fear disguise itself in our lives?
Always looking for comfort, and being trapped in its curse, is one of the favorite disguises of fear.
It’s comfortable to stay where we are, especially when we’ve grown accustomed to it, and it’s all we’ve ever known, or even, wanted.
But, there’s fear there.
Growth is change. Growth is awkward. Growth is painful. It’s scary.
It’s scary because you’ll never really know how things would turn out. And it’s more comfortable to stick to what you know and what you’ve grown accustomed to.
Even if it’s not the best for you.
Even if it’s sucking your soul and mind dry.
We stay because it’s comfortable.
We stay because we’re afraid of things to come.
Not knowing and feeling that there is always discomfort in living life, and perfect comfort is a dream.
There was a time I had a lot of excuses for not putting up a business.
I didn’t have enough time. I’ll wait till next month when I’m more free.
I don’t have enough money. I’ll wait for the time when I have some.
I don’t have a great idea. I’ll just magically wait for one to drop down on my lap.
The product I’m testing isn’t perfect yet. I’ll wait until it’s perfect before I sell it.
Ugh. And after some time, or even a lot of time, none of things came true.
Or not all the came true at the same time.
The timing wasn’t perfect, the circumstances wasn’t perfect, me and my skills weren’t perfect.
And they never will be.
the perfectionism was just fear in disguise – fear of failing and of what people would think. Of judgements and rejection.
Beliefs and Mindset
I’ve met a lot of people who tell me – “This is just the way I am. I can’t change.”
Or they believe things they want will never happen. Or will never happen to them.
Or they believe that success is a byproduct of luck. And that they just haven’t been lucky.
Or that they’re ready to get into a relationship, but keep looking for the negative traits of people they date.
And, it’s formed from our past experiences and day to day dealings with the world. Meaning, fear may have unknowingly crept in and established itself in our beliefs and mindsets.
Even without us knowing about them, or why.
It’s like people and their phobias. Irrational fears that people don’t know why they have, but they just do.
Here’s an unpopular truth that people are unwilling to face – that people are afraid of success.
That you are afraid of success.
And their beliefs, and mindsets, support that.
To escape from facing fear, people fill their days, minds, and thoughts, with other things.
It’s a distraction – to distract us from feeling fear.
But this also doesn’t solve anything – and instead just drains us quickly of energy – both physical and emotional.
In one of my previous jobs, I just kept myself busy, grinding it out.
Grinding myself out. Out of energy, out of hope, and out of life.
Why did I work so hard? What for? I told myself a lot of different reasons, and kept on keeping myself busy.
That I hoped that things would improve if I just gave it my all – even if I felt that I wasn’t a fit.
I was just distracting myself from the fear that I wasn’t a good fit, and that I might lose my job.
Or that losing my job was the right thing to do, but what do I do next?
And its close cousin, laziness.
I find myself in this situation, again and again.
Where I know what I want to do, and have some action steps to get there.
But I don’t execute. Or I don’t execute with any solid commitment and follow-through.
I procrastinated and procrastinated.
Because I felt things weren’t perfect, so I waited.
Because I was in too much comfort, so I held off.
Because I didn’t believe in what I was doing, or in myself and my abilities.
Because I kept myself busy with things I deemed more important.
But deep at its heart, procrastination and laziness disguise the fear inside of us.
The fear of rejection, pain, frustration. Whatever it is you fear.
That’s why I held back. That’s why I didn’t execute.
It’s so frustrating to try your best, and come up empty. And procrastination gave me an opportunity to feel safer, and to avoid the possibility of failing.
And it’s up to us to expose them and overcome them.
For as long as the fear hides, and we allow it to hide and operate, influence, and live within us, then we lose power to it.
As we slowly accept and let go of fear, so too do we allow ourselves to live more.
How have you overcome hidden fears? Please share in the comments below?